Review Advance praise for The Soul of Discipline   “The Soul of Discipline offers practical tools for helping parents implement discipline that’s respectful and effective, but the book is so much more. Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom.”—Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co-author of No-Drama Discipline   “This book gets deep inside the challenge of getting along with children and teens and thinks deeply about what they need from us to become strong and self-managing. It elevates discipline to what it should be—a caring process of helping kids orient to the world and live in it happily and well.”—Steve Biddulph, author of The New Manhood   “Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stance—Governor, Gardener, or Guide—depending on the situation. Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented. The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising.”—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting   “The Soul of Discipline draws on Kim John Payne’s years of gifted school and family counseling to show us with its clear and simple tone how to discipline without becoming our children’s enemy. It is filled with memorable stories, dialogues that will engage your imagination, and great strategies. By the book’s end, a new picture of parenting will live in you, one that will honor the soul of your children as you provide the structure, training, and guidance they need at each stage of their development.”—Dee Joy Coulter, Ed.D., author of Original Mind Read more About the Author A consultant and trainer to 250 U.S. independent and public schools and school districts, Kim John Payne, M.Ed., has been a school and family counselor for more than thirty years. He has also consulted for clinics, training centers, and educational associations in South Africa, Hungary, Israel, Russia, Ireland, Switzerland, Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom, and Canada. He has served as the project director of the Collaborative Counseling Program at Antioch University and the co-director of an extensive research program on a drug-free approach to attention-priority issues. He is the director of the Simplicity Parenting Project and the Center for Social Sustainability and has worked extensively with the American and U.K. Waldorf movements. The author of Games Children Play, Simplicity Parenting, and Beyond Winning, he lives with his wife and two children in Northampton, Massachusetts. Read more See all Editorial Reviews
C**8
Best parenting book I've read
I have read countless books on discipline and parenting, including Love and Logic; Adventures in Gentle Discipline; How to Talk so Kids Will Listen...; Siblings without Rivalry; Free-Range Parenting; Heaven on Earth; Punished by Rewards; It's ok not to Share; and Payne's own Simplicity Parenting. The Soul of Discipline surpasses all of these, and I only wish that it had been available 5 years ago when we began parenting! The developmental phases and "needs" presented make perfect sense. I have trialed just a few of the ideas that Payne shares and have already seen improvements in my relationship with my impetuous 5 year old. Some of the ideas are uncomfortable to read about, as I have been steeped in the parenting philosophy that says to be as inclusive as possible with your children. I read through the tween and teen sections, too, though, and am encouraged to see how that "ideal" of inclusiveness will become our reality as the children get older. I am so glad that I read this book, and highly recommend it to anyone who interacts with children. I only wish Payne had included more examples/scenarios, as I find those very helpful--but he did include enough to get us started.
C**N
I lean on this book when I feel confused or ...
I lean on this book when I feel confused or that I am looking for an answer. Kim John Payne has helped guide our family through many phases and stages, always helping the parent to remember to get to the source of the child's issue. No disobedient kids, just disoriented. Changed our parenting for sure.
A**R
Liked the position the book takes
Say it may be vague or without ground, but I see and identify with the middle ground taken by the author in parenting. I have read books that go the strict side and the loose side, and found that both had links missing in making sense of the parenting methods proposed in those books. This book bridged and explained the pros and cons these popular parenting methods possess and bring up one which draws in the good of both sides for reference.
J**F
Textbook parenting
This wasn’t a book filled with new ideas for me, as I felt it largely drew on basic material in the field of study. At times I felt like I was reading a textbook for one of my college classes. If you haven’t read that type of material I believe it would be fairly informative. It did have some good ideas it shared, but wasn’t anything especially new. This is a good basic parenting book to read.
A**R
For children of all ages
This book is wonderful in many ways. I highly reccomend it to parents with children of any age. My sister and I both got a copy and are implementing some changes in our households at the same time. She has 2 daughters, 6 and 8. I have a 20 month old son and the simplicity parenting techniques apply for all.
B**R
Excellent
Excellent read! I have a 3 year old and have read through the Gardener phase of the book and have to say that the suggestions are working.
S**D
VERY helpful advice for helping your relationship with your child ...
VERY helpful advice for helping your relationship with your child, from the author of Simplicity Parenting. I could do without some of the constant anecdotes, but the practical advice really works.
R**D
A Remarkable, Heartwarming Book!
Kim John Payne takes the seemingly overwhelming task of providing children effective parenting and lays it out in a logical, clear fashion. You learn how to identify the approach your child or teen needs depending upon his or her stage of development. The “Avoiding Discipline Fads” chapter provides insight into the perils of using the latest “tricks” to raise kids, and instead the book helps parents provide their children the core experiences that help them become loving, successful adults. Payne also masterfully illuminates why we need to limit kids’ tech/screen time to foster their connection to family and improve their focus in school. As a child and adolescent psychologist, I will strongly recommend this book over and over to families.
Trustpilot
2 weeks ago
2 months ago
