The Art of Talking to Yourself: Self-Awareness Meets the Inner Conversation

To say this book is NOT a self help book, is an understatement! I purchased the book knowing this, however, I’d hoped it would contain some information that would give me an “aha” moment. Yes, the description also warns this book doesn’t give expert opinions. Another understatement! There’s no way this woman is an expert on anything other than talking about herself.This is one of my longest reviews ever, because I can’t stress enough how much I hated this book.The author hopes this books will “encourage people to be self-aware”, but how can you become self-aware when everything she discusses in this book has a contradiction to something she said less than a chapter ago. It’s like saying, ignore that inner voice that someone is watching you, you’re just paranoid and insecure. Forget that terrible gut feeling and move on with your head held high. That would be a great suggestion if it wasn’t for the fact that more often than not, our gut feeling is right. If you shake off that inner voice because that’s insecure side of you, constantly yelling, everyone is out to get you, you could miss a real danger coming your way. Maybe you are being watched and you shouldn’t be walking to your car alone when you leave work.Name your inner voices, yet question every one of them. Even the good voices, because according to the book, you never know which voice is the true you. To feel good about the dress you’re wearing for that big speech you have to give in front of thousands of people could be the vain-inner-voice. Think into that comment for a moment.You could lose all confidence to rock that speech without an ounce of anxiety. Oh but look out, that anxiety-inner-voice could be your fearful-inner-voice. (I have so much frustration as is just typed that part) This book could be very harmful to the health and good side of you!She praises the person who can remain calm while someone is angry and yelling, then quickly tells you not to be so proud of yourself, because you were once that person and of course you should sympathize with the uncontrollable anger that person has. However, not everyone has been known to fly off the handle and start yelling. There are people in this world who were raised to remain calm, once the other person has all their screaming out, you can finally sit down and have a calm conversation. Yes, I realize this doesn’t exists for everyone, in every situation, but don’t takeaway someone’s pride to be a naturally calm person. I personally say, pat yourself on the back, it’s something to be proud of and it is who you are!This book is also a warning book about consumerism. Which is really unfortunate. I don’t need to read any book to know that consumerism affects the way we perceive ourselves and the way we live.As quoted in the intro of the book, “Consumerism relies on make-believe. We buy fad diets and get-rich-quick schemes because we mistake fantasy for truth. We suffer manipulation through blindness more than force. We don’t understand ourselves, so we believe all the stories about what we need.” Sounds like were all gullible and easily manipulated, doesn’t it.Maybe you should start listening to that inner voices that says, I want to be a leader, not a follower. Even for those who are aware of what consumerism is and does to us, many of us don’t care. If it makes us happy, we buy it and move on with our lives. Later we may tell a friend not to waste their money on such item(s), but that’s how things go. No matter how many times we tell our self not to waste money on a pointless item, we buy it anyway. If not that item then a different item later down the road. It is how things go.The author stress about not wasting money on things that take up unnecessary space, not only in your home but also in your mind. “Decluttering is important.”Sure decluttering is important, but don’t expect any helpful suggestion on how to go about doing this.Aside from the fact it seems as though the author brings up lots of points to think about, she doesn’t properly elaborate on them. Again, I know this isn’t supposed to be a self-help book, but it sure would be nice if the book flowed well enough to keep my interest and didn’t agitate me. Among many irritating things about this book, the biggest one that kept pinching my nerve is the skin crawling repetitive questions and statements in each chapter. Let me give some examples.Example one: “Too often, our hesitation to explore ourselves comes from a lack of self-trust. More accurately, broken self-trust. Maybe you have taken responsibility in the past and failed. Maybe the philosophies and dogmas that you learned at a young age labelled you as untrustworthy. Maybe you have found yourself in relationships and workplaces that repress your authentic desire. Maybe your culture condemns the passions you have long held within you.”Example two: “What if instead of seeking certainty in your decisions and ideas, you became certain of the ever-changing nature of reality? What if each gift, intellectual and otherwise, was entertain each idea, any idea, without making a financial decision about whether to hold on to it or let it go?Example three: “However, if the dream persists, then maybe it has another message, Maybe it is literal. Or Maybe it’s your natural pace saying, “Don’t rush, slow down.” Or Maybe it’s your self-sabotage saying, “Don’t rush, slow down” because you’re close to a career breakthrough!”(Note the part that looks like it’s repeating nearly the same thing, because that happens MANY times in this book!) Don’t expect any answers to those repetitive questions and statements, because you inner voice should already be answering all that for you.Maybe this author should have made this book a biography. She talks a lot about herself and how her inner voices helped her grow to the person she is, but as stated before, there is no flow to the story. It’s almost like she has a flashback of her past and adds it to the book without real meaning or following through with completed reasoning, just simply a need to talk about herself.This book needs to STAY OUT of the “self-discovery” section. It could do more damage to you by the end.P.S. The title of the last chapter is, How You Can Help (The “Marketing Plan”). Which is of course the author pointing out that if you think this book is important “Leave a review on as many platforms as you can”. Such a wonderful way to end the book when it begins stating how consumerism convinces us to buy unnecessary things.

I bought this book a year & a half ago. It sat on my shelf, unread, waiting for the time my inner urge would pull us together, & pull us together it did!! It was like my permission slip to be all the screwed up, not uniform, non static self I always knew I was. Conformity has NEVER been a strong suit of mine. I found myself hating myself for not being as "static" in personality, desires & everything else many pride themselves on. I thought something was wrong with me for having so many paradoxes & no straight path. Now, with the help of Vironika Tugaleva, I understand I was never meant to polarize, but unite the paradoxes within.A MUST read for anyone struggling with conflicting thoughts, ideas &/or emotions.

Truth is only partial, about yourself, others and things around you. The book makes you aware, understand and attempts to show you ways to complete that truth.

I've always been interested in psychology and human development. I've read text books, self help books, mindfulness books, religious books and talked to wise elders and enlightened others. I've heard things like, "You have to love yourself before you can really love others." I've even used such phrases at the right time in conversations with others without really knowing what it meant. I've wondered about self-actualization and individuation...how will I know when I'm there? What does the process look like? Where am I in the process? It all seemed so nebulous, until now. I really "get it" after reading this book. The author doesn't just throw cliches and silly exercises at you; she gives you highly personal example showing how the process of inner development works. Of course, my internal triggers are not the same as hers, but the examples gave me a context that I could apply to my inner world. I was able to step back and see my inner work, both the done and the not done. I know where I've been, where I am, where I'm going, and when I'll "get there." The book didn't tell me this directly, but it educated me on how a healthy inner dialog leads the way to enlightenment.

An incredible book, gathering of wisdom, shared from the heart. Truly raw material. Just being with her words on the pages, things started to shift for me. As though I was sitting with a friend that really got it. I started to feel a warm embrace and realized, wow!, that must be me. There’s no downside to reading this book!

This book came in a time where I needed and was ready to receive it. It took me awhile to finish it because I would jump from book to book but I feel like that was a good thing because I had time to digest it piece by piece. I always thought myself “self-aware” when I would engage in my internal conflicts but I would still act out those feelings. This book put a lot of things in perspective for me as far what self-awareness really means and how to go about practicing the art of self-awareness. If you haven’t already you should definitely check it out & make sure to finish.

This book provided content to ponder and I appreciate the rawness of the author's writing. The last couple of chapters were a bit meandering, but some might find comfort in her honesty. This book did make me think, and for that it served its purpose.

I often highlight the parts of books that I will refer back to, parts I know will benefit me in the future. My first highlighter ran out of ink... It was new!!!This is my most highlighted book and this is for a lot of reasons. The information is gold, Vironika's personality shines through beautifully, her style of writing flows naturally. She is real, her pain is real. As a writer she is very relatable, funny and has a way of helping you connect the many dots in your mind.I usually struggle to engage and connect with books, but I found myself unable to put this down, sometimes for hours at a time. (I'm a slow reader and like to reflect)I will take a lot away from this and I will certainly return to it on my endless path of self awareness. I will also highly recommend this to others.Thanks for a beautiful book Vironika 😊

I chose the rating because it has been the only book that has helped me be myself, through self awareness, also because I refer back to some of the words in this book to "cue" me into being self aware in the moment, such as one of my favorites:"Self awareness begins the moment you realize it can"Thank you Vironoka Tugaleva for writing this book, I appreciate you and your guidance very much :)

There is admirable ambition within this book in helping people see how valuable they are without looking to anyone else for validation. Unfortunately I found the intense focus on semantics a bit heavy for me and it was a chore to read through at times so I gave up. Some great wisdom in parts but, for me, a bit intense for easy digestion

A brilliant account of a woman's inner journey and conversations that lead her from the darkness of unknowing, into the light of self-awareness. I found the book thought provoking and in some instances triggering. Clearly I have work to do!

The mistake I made was buying the speaking book version of this, which, I suspect has been computer generated - and if not then very badly read.Sadly it means that the message is completely lost, as the way it is delivered is somewhat droning.I hasten to add that this is a criticism of the delivery mechanism rather than the content.