Seven Choices Paperback – August 1, 2003

The best book on the process of grief I have read. It presents the differing stages of grief, the choice you must make to pass through that stage. It is not just applicable to death - but applies to the many losses we have that involve dying to dreams, relationships and purpose. In each stage information is passed along from medical doctors, counselors, and psychiatrists about how that stage effects you. The book is an invaluable resource. Included are is the experience of the writer and experiences of many others who have lived through that stage. I could only read one chapter at a time. When I finished the book - I felt as if I was leaving a treasured friend and companion. I have passed it along to many a friend who has also found it to be a friend that comes along side what can be a long lonely path.

My friends keep telling me I should write a book about my grief, but I think that what Elizabeth Harper Neeld has written is better than anything I could produce. This book is so readable and covers every aspect of grief. My husband died four months ago, and I have found this book exceedingly helpful. Elixabeth put the most important step first "To experience and express grief fully." There are hundreds of ways to run away from grief, but it is necessary "to feel it to heal it." I was given the best advice by a friend who said to "lean into the pain." The second choice "To endure with patience," has helped me be more patient and compassionate with myself. Thank you, Elizabeth for this beautiful book. I will buy it for everyone I know who loses someone dear.

Very helpful for me when I lost my husband I thought I might have written a couple of the chapters as I read along. What a painful experience to go through and friends and family do try but do not have a clue how it is to loose your best friend, lover and husband of 53 years. I found purpose and meaning in my life with the help of this book. I bought three copies and passed them out to friends. Hope it helped them also.

Helped me navigate first year of grief after my husband died unexpectedly. Caring but bracing. Not wallow. How to move forward

I purchased this book at the suggestion of a neighbor who lost her husband. She said it was the best book she has ever read on grieving and that it helped her turn a corner in her grieving process.I was not disappointed in her high praise. Even though I am not currently in a grief-state, I think it is helpful to read books like this from time to time in preparation for loss or to help others who are currently grieving. While I was reading this book a friend lost her husband to cancer. Using the information in the book, I have been able to be there for her as a friend and allow her to set the pace of what she needs.It has been enlightening to read this book and Elizabeth Harper Neeld is tremendously open and candid in her recounting of her grief experience. This is the kind of book that no one ever wants to need but 99% of us WILL need the information it contains at some point in our lives.It is a rather long book but I read a page or two each morning and worked through the book over several weeks. I could see someone who is actively grieving may be daunted by the weight of the book. I would hope that they would still check it out and read what they can. I think they will find it worth their time.

I first got this book 9 years ago when my husband died very suddenly. I found it a most useful and helpful tool to deal with the suffocating grief I was experiencing. The author's insightful approach coupled with the words of other people dealing with terrible loss helped me see that my chaotic thoughts, fears, and anxieties were quite typical. This book helped me keep in mind that it would get better and that I would, indeed, survive this devastating grief.I referred to it often over the first 2-3 years and, since then, I have directed dozens of people to it.

When my husband died in 2003, I tried to get my hands on every book on the grieving process that I could, hoping to understand what I was going through and tips on what I could do to ease the pain. This was clearly the BEST OF THE BEST for that purpose. My version is completely dog-eared, and I still refer to it from time to time. And I have given it to many others when they have lost a loved one.Through a mutual friend, I had the opportunity to meet Elizabeth Harper Neeld and she's as special in person as she is in her writing. Wise beyond words and wonderful insights on faith and life.I highly recommend this book for anyone experiencing the devastating loss of a loved one.

I recently lost my wife in a car accident. I have 3 children at home. After a few days the initial shock began to give way to the realization that "normal" would be something different now. It also occurred to me that if I were to have a chance of successfully navigating the rivers of grief I'd be in a much better position if I knew the terrain. This book is excellent. The author approaches the process and helps the reader identify ways we need to grieve in order to fully recover. She includes her personal experience, extensive research, and the use of personal anecdotes from a number of individuals who have suffered loss in a variety of ways. The overall message for me is that grieving is an active process. Dig in. Let yourself feel the loss. Engage in integrating the life you had with your life the way it is now. That begins with identifying steps that can/must be taken in order to see yourself through the loss with an increased capacity to love and to really live.

Alles war gut

Before I retired, I had a little lending library, for borrowing by my clients. This included three copies of Seven Choices, because it was appropriate reading to deal with all sources of serious grief, not only that due to death. This book shaped my practice, and my nonfiction writing.Since I am now writing a book on grief myself, I searched my bookshelves, but all three copies had walked. It is a compliment that three separate clients “forgot” to return them. So, I had to buy another copy, and now have the pleasure of reading it once more.It is that perfect self-help book: passionate, emotional, reflecting the author’s personal experience, while being completely science-based and authoritative.If you are suffering grief, as so many people are, or want to offer support to people who have experienced losses, you must read this book. And even in the unlikely event that you don’t, Seven Choices is so well written that it is worth reading as a literary gem.

After the shocking and unexpected death of my 43 year old boyfriend, I purchased this book after a friend highly recommended it. Her daughter's fiancé had been killed in a crash and she said the book saved the sanity of her daughter and herself.It has been almost years since my b/f died, and the book was of tremendous assistance in my understanding and healing.One thing that particularly struck me is that it really is all about choices. After I returned to work, but was walking around in a stunned state because it was like my inner orbit was totally off it's course, my boss took me for lunch one day and asked me 'So what is your plan now? I looked incredulously at him thinking, 'I just lost my plan, can't you see that????', but it did get me thinking, that I *had* to make a plan. That was the first choice. To wither up and die with my boyfriend or make a new plan and carry on.The book was so helpful to me that I read it twice. And the nice thing about it is that there are sections that did not pertain to me (death from terminal illness for example) so I could just skip those chapters and read what was relevant.It was so helpful that since I read it, I have purchased it more than once for others who have lost loved ones.The journey to healing is unique to each individual, but the bottom line is the same - you need to make the choice whether to carry on, or whether to let the death consume you. I know of more than one sad case who did not make the choice to carry on, and it is tortuous to see. A lady I know whose only son died 10 years ago at 34 is still posting on his and her own FaceBook page regularly to and about him. His death has consumed her very life, but it was a choice she made to let it do so. Conversely, I know another mother, about the same age, who also lost her only son at 19, but she came to the rational realization that nothing was going to bring him back and dwelling in it would ruin her own life, so she took the steps to recover, and now, 10 years later, she is very well adjusted.Death, particularly young or unexpected death, is very harsh, stark, and confusing. All losses of someone close to you require a huge adjustment, and this book is just the type of resource every mourner should have, to assist in the understanding of the grieving process, and and other valuable tools to help you pick up the pieces.After my boss asked what my plan was, I developed a new one. My 'Plan B' became ... 'make a new plan'. What other choice is there? It would be a long sad life with no plan. I know this sounds harsh, but the reality is the person is gone, and you are left. You must choose your own path and there are resources to assist you to arrive at a healthy outcome. You just cannot go wrong with this book.

En fait il s'agit plutôt d'un travail universitaire, une sorte de compilation (où l'on peut éventuellement trouver des situations qui correspondent à notre vécu). Je n'y ai pas vraiment trouvé ce que je cherchais mais le livre pourra sans doute intéresser des professionnels du milieu médical et psy. Les étapes indiquées dans Seven Choices me semblent un peu artificielles, mais je ne suis pas spécialiste du sujet.Je suis un peu étonné car j'avais lu d'excellentes évaluations en anglais sur amazon.com. Plusieurs personnes disent que le livre permet de faire comprendre à l'entourage le vécu de l'endeuillé. L'endeuillé y trouve t il son compte ? Cela doit dépendre des gens.Il y a à mon avis un décalage entre mon vécu et celui de l'auteur qui évolue dans un milieu universitaire assez aisé, et dont le mode de vie est très éloigné d'un mode de vie européen, avec des relations sociales différentes.Je trouve davantage d'intérêt au blog et à la newsletter de Mark Oborn (Lost-without-her.com). Culturellement plus proche de moi, et puis c'est un homme qui comme moi a perdu son épouse brutalement.

If you have been recently bereaved, read this book. If you know someone who has lost someone close, buy them a copy of this book and get them to read it. It will help them enormously. The author has written a deeply-felt, very thoughtful and supportive work here. It guides you through the seven stages of bereavement, and helps you recognise that everything you are feeling is normal. The author discusses her own experience of widowhood at an early age and includes short quotes from bereaved and divorced people she has interviewed. As a result, the whole approach is extremely sympathetic and gently encouraging. It is like the author takes you hand and personally guides you from the point of impact right through to reintegration into a normal, rebuilt life.I cannot recommend it highly enough and would give it six or even seven stars, if I could.