Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression

Perfectly Hidden Depression by Dr Margaret Rutherford is a must read. Even if you do not think you have it, I am confident that you know someone with it and it will help you in your interactions with them. These people do not appear depressed. They are very active and appear happy; not what you expect depression to look like.Some of you may automatically know you are a perfectionist. Others may not recognize the behavior until you read how it can manifest itself. The author shares 10 characteristics of perfectly hidden depression.Once you understand what perfectly hidden depression is very well, the author gives you a quiz to see how well you relate to it. From there we move to part II where you start learning the five stages of healing.The author includes sections to journal, answer questions and think through what you have read and how it relates to you. In addition, there are real stories; these were very impactful for me. The author’s compassion and empathy come through the book loud and clear. It makes you feel like you know her and the book is written to where you feel she is talking to you directly.My very humble opinion is that perfectly hidden depression is behind a lot of the increase in suicide.Again, I want to stress that I highly recommend this book. Even if you think it is not for you, I am confident you will know someone you want to share the book with.

I came across DR M & her podcasts on the subject some time ago & found them enormously helpful & of great comfort, to at long last make some sense of my life. The book encapsulates the concept in easy to read chapters & the process flows.Most of all I find Dr M very gentle and compassionate in her manner & her passion and dedication as a psychologist shine through.She stands out from the plethora of self-help books in a genuine, realistic and practical way.

I first heard about Perfectly Hidden Depression via a Facebook Live on The Mighty. When Dr Margaret began describing the characteristics it felt like she was talking about me. I purchased her book, started listening to her brilliant podcast “Self Work” and started following her work on social media. After having read the book, I’m even more convinced that this syndrome is 100% what I struggle with. The book is onto something that often gets overlooked in the mental health arena, namely when people appear to be high functioning and yet are deeply depressed. I highly recommend reading the book and more importantly actually taking the time to complete the exercises. It’s worth going at a slow enough pace to really do the work and if possible discussing some of your observations with a therapist.

So much information pulled together in a way that is easily understood AND actionable. The reflections and suggestions on next steps can be transformative. This is also a great resource for therapists to work through with a client.

I listen to her podcast for quite a while. She does a great job in explaining perfectly hidden depression which I have. It’s nice to know finally that there’s a reason for my depression.

As a self critical perfectionist I really appreciate this book. Dr Margaret lends her compassionate wisdom to others in a way that is informative yet interesting and easy to digest. This is a very important topic and not just your average book on depression.

I bought this for my husband because it described him to a T. But I don't like giving out books I haven't read so I read the whole thing. It was very insightful into the thinking of a man I've know and loved for years. This book helped me be more compassionate and patient. The journaling exercises are solid and build on each other. It's a workbook. Unfortunately I don't think my husband is ready to do the work. But at least I know what I'm dealing with.

Although I couldn’t relate to every story, I related to quite a few of them. It was nice to read my thoughts and/or actions are valid and it provides great tools to get past them. I highly recommend this book. It’s a quick read and easy to digest.

A really helpful book for anyone who presents themselves to the world as competent yet inside are struggling with feelings of emptiness and fear of failure. The book categorises the traits of perfectly hidden depression and then presents a series of practical exercises to help you challenge your unhelpful thinking patterns. Fabulous book. Thoroughly recommend.