Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself Paperback – June 23, 2015

This is a gem of a book and one I desperately needed to read. I am so grateful to Dr. Neff for having the courage to be as honest and vulnerable as she was in order to live and then write about her own self compassion so it could be shared with others.In my efforts to be the best I could be in so many areas of my life, I drove myself to attempt perfection mercilessly. A lot of that was inherited from my father and made worse by a demanding and unempathetic marriage partner.Just in the first being kind to myself exercise, I began to experience the freedom and power of self compassion. It enabled me to see and accept that we all share many of the same experiences, make the same mistakes and even feel the same way about ourselves, which is why we need self compassion to begin with. I was no longer an island of failure, but a normal person, making normal mistakes and having normal feelings. Having worked with an excellent therapist for the last five years, I was able to add to my work on being present and mindful in and through the reality of what is.The final chapter of Self Appreciation was the icing on the cake! Learning not only to accept myself when things aren't as I'd like, but to cultivate appreciating what is good and wonderful too. Truly, this is who I am - who we all are, "warts and all" as they say. I am so appreciative of this book and the life altering truth within it.If six stars was an option, that would be my rating. Thank you Dr. Neff!

For the past four months, I have been diligently practicing mindfulness and accepting my emotions, even showing compassion for emotions such as anger and fear. The approach of self-compassion complements mindfulness training (as taught by Jon Kabat-Zinn or Thich Nhat Hahn among others) very, very well indeed. In fact, it seems that our society cultivates the exact opposite, going hard on one's self and evaluating one's self in an overly critical manner is the norm. In practicing these principles, I have emerged from year long depression and anxiety to regain my life. These techniques have helped see the gift of my depression and anxiety. Through practicing the wisdom of self-compassion and mindfulness diligently I have begun to find true strength, beyond the complement-recognition-dependent limitations of self-esteem.When did we stop being as understanding, compassionate, caring and loving to ourselves as we are to those we love dearly? How can we recharge ourselves after working so hard at our jobs and trying so very hard to do everything right? Our inner critic, it seems, is never satisfied and continues to find fault although we have long earned recognition. Apart from that we are as perfect as we were the day we were born - when did we stop seeing ourselves in that light? Herein lies the rub, for in neglecting, punishing and criticizing ourselves, we are compelled to try to fill this empty void through excessive consumption of food, products, relationships, attention-seeking. The result is catastrophic, despite rampant consumption and the destruction of the environment, depression and mental illness are on the rise! Our inner critic continues to devour any praise and complements our self-esteem gets - if we turn the tables as Kristen Neff suggests, the result is the kind of profound, lasting change we have been wanting all our lives and it is painfully simple! Each and every one of us deserves this.Kristen Neff has done a very thorough job of presenting this invaluable wisdom as practiced, among other sources, in the Buddhist Tradition (it is also conveyed in many other faiths, philosophies etc.). She does so in a very human, humorous and enjoyable manner, which makes this book a true pleasure to read. If you are devoted to improving your life experience and that of those you love, please begin by accepting and loving yourself - flaws and all - then you can unleash your true power as a compassionate, loving, accepting being and genuinely help your loved ones, society and the world all in one. May the wisdom of this book help many to heal themselves, the rest will take care of itself.

This book defines self compassion vs self esteem and then tells HOW to practice self compassion. Therapy tells us to practice self compassion but don't explain clearly how to do that. This author offers easily understood directions. Very helpful!

Easy to read, relatable and candid. Particularly, as Dr. Neff takes her through her personal struggles. The exercise are well placed and whole relevant. This is now one of my ‘go to’ reads when in or nearing a crisis.At times mildly repetitive. Oh, and there has to be a synonym for ‘equanimity.’ 🤭

i absolutely love this book. The author does a great job of sounding personal with vignettes, offering low risk thought prompts. and many real-life examples that shows how the information may apply to you. I actually bought the free kindle version during a sale, and enjoyed it so much that I bought the hard copy.Sometimes, I would start the chapter believing the topic she was describing didn't apply to me. And, at face value, it didn't. However, she frequently goes on and provides different childhood experiences or interpersonal interactions that lead to the same mal-adaptive thinking that is self-deprecating. And follows that up with helpful quotes and questions to work within ourselves to be kinder to ourselves.If you are someone in their early stages of unpacking their negative self-talk, can't or isn't ready to have those types of hard talks with a therapist out loud, this book is a great step in the right direction. Forewarning, I haven't finished the book because sometimes the chapters hit me deeper than expected and I'm left crying so be aware that you might experience that too :) The author was also on an NPR Hidden Brain episode which I listened to and thought was good.