The Girls at 17 Swann Street

Such a good book. Lots of deep topics touched on though.

"I was ambitious once. I was a dancer, a dreamer. I was loved, I was in love, I loved life. I once had books to read and places to see, babies I wanted to make."—AnnaAgain and again we're told not to judge a book by its cover, in which we're referring to people, but sometimes it's hard not to do this in a literal sense. The hardcover edition of this book showed the backs of several young women huddled over something that is just out of view of the camera. It suggests secrets...or group secrets. I figured it was a destructive boarding school or Mean Girls type of book and steered clear. Recently however, while listening to a podcast, this book was mentioned as a book about an eating disorder inpatient facility...and that did grab my attention!I remember watching countless Lifetime Movies and After School Specials about eating disorders as a preteen and I always found them fascinating, because from the age of 8 I was already weight conscious. When I suffered with a bout of disordered eating in my late teens and early adulthood, I could understand, at least from a different perspective, a little more about anorexia. I feel incredibly fortunate to have recovered on my own from those eating patterns, which is more of what it was, as opposed to a disease. But every now and then I envy that youngster who seemed so disciplined, and first hand experiences (fact or fiction) help me to reflect on how good recovery tastes and to beware of falling back into that lifestlye.Anna follows her husband from St. Louis from Paris. A ballet dancer recovering from an injury, she finds life in a new country incredibly lonely, as her husband works incredibly long hours. Three years later, she finds herself at 17 Swann Street, an inpatient eating disorder treatment facility in a private home and neighborhood. At 5'7" and weighing only 88 pounds, she and her husband, Matthias, know that this is their last option.I found both Anna's narrative, as well as the lives of the different women being treated, very compelling. It was also a behind the scenes peek at a disease that is so private, and also about the way a team of doctors, psychiatrists and therapists work together to help these delicate "swans" spread their wings again against staggering statistics."Only 33% of women with anorexia nervosa maintain full recovery after nine months. Of those, approximately one-third will relapse after the nine-month mark...all eating disorders are chronic, and the risk of relapse remains. It is greatest within the four-to-nine-month period following discharge from inpatient care."It was very realistic because as the author alludes to in the dedication, and then confirms in the afterword, this was her experience. She spent time at a facility like 17 Swann Street, and there she met many different kinds of women who for different reasons found themselves at the crossroad of life and death. I highly recommend this book. I feel like the author structured the book in such a way as to allow a breather from particularly difficult scenes, and she was so protective of her characters. I like that in an author.

“I am a child in a body that grew up too soon, found adulthood and real life a scam and now is trying to lose enough weight to lift off the ground, fly away.”Anna is 5’1. Anna eats only apples that she feels proud to cut up into small bites and a single serving of fat-free popcorn. Anna has significant physical damage to her body organs. Anna is 88 pounds. Anna is anorexic. As her beloved husband Matthias watches Anna self-destruct on her journey to starve herself, he makes a choice: in order to save Anna’s life, he enrolls her in residential treatment at 17 Swann Street. Anna begins treatment, alongside other women and begins to battle her anorexia. Wow. This book really hit home for me. I’ve seen the viral tweet going around that we’re in a pandemic, that we’re in social isolation and it’s okay to have a cookie. Meanwhile, I cannot bear to look at myself in a mirror or take a shower because all I see are the stretch marks from where my body has become too fat. I hate myself for not having the discipline that Anna does to starve myself. I am envious of her because she gets to starve herself and I am too weak to ignore the signs of hunger in my belly. Yes, I know how sick that is. I was previously seeking treatment for my eating disorder (Officially diagnosed with Other Specified Eating Disorder) but I quit because I wasn’t ready to heal. I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat, disgusting, hideous blob of a human being. I don’t have a hopeful or cheerful ending to this post. I know I’m sick. I know I’ve developed a thyroid condition, I have brittle nails and breaking hair, that I either eat too much in one sitting or I starve myself in others, that I can’t even take a picture of my face without cursing my double chin, that I do not allow myself to eat multiple food groups. I know all the signs, I see all the symptoms but that voice inside my head is louder than logic, it has me in it’s grip and it screams: “You are fat. You are disgusting. You are hideous. You are mine.”

I liked story itself but did not like the way it was written. It was confusing trying to follow the dialogue of the characters. This book could have been half as many pages if the author had written it like 99% of other books. Lots of blank lines on the pages (not sure why). The story was good but hard to read because of the way it was presented.

As an adult still struggling with the ebb and flow of my eating disorder for 10 years now, this book has strongly resonated with me. Most in how it affected my spouse, my family, and how i see the world. I think there's a huge saturation of romanticized teen eating disorder books, and not enough showing the real struggles that often follow into adulthood after. This book has been an incredible read and tool for helping my recovery and getting out of my own head to view the rest of the world around me. I am excited to tell my therapist about it so she can recommend it to other ed patients who may need it as well.

Couldn't put it down. Anna could be me. A catchy book, one of the best on this subject.

There is hope. This book has despair but also hope. Written simply and well. I enjoyed it and its simplicity.

Dieses Buch ist das schönste Debüt, was ich seit langer Zeit gelesen habe. Die Autorin beschreibt die Krankheit Anorexia Nervosa mit unglaublich viel Feingefühl und die Protagonistin Anna wächst einem während des Lesens ans Herz. Anna stammt ursprünglich aus Paris und ist Tänzerin. Gemeinsam mit ihrem Ehemann zieht sie in die Vereinigten Staaten und verliert sich dort in ihrer Einsamkeit und Perspektivlosigkeit. Das Buch handelt von Annas Aufenthalt in einer Einrichtung für essgestörte Frauen und wechselt in den einzelnen Kapiteln die zeitliche Perspektive zwischen Vergangenheit und Gegenwart. Insgesamt gibt das Buch auf eine sehr poetische und lyrische Weise Einblicke in die Erlebniswelt essgestörter Frauen, beschreibt den Weg in die Krankheit und unter welchen Voraussetzungen Heilung möglich ist. Zugleich zeigt das Buch in wunderschöner Sprache Gründe auf, weshalb sich der Weg aus der Essstörung lohnt und schafft es, Mitgefühl für Betroffene zu erzeugen und das Thema in den Fokus der Öffentlichkeit zu stellen. Ganz besonders hat mir gefallen, dass es sich nicht wie sonst üblich um minderjährige Betroffene handelt, sondern um erwachsene Frauen. Überdies erschöpft sich das Buch nicht lediglich an einer nicht enden wollenden Hoffnungslosigkeit, sondern ein so trauriges Thema wird mit unglaublich viel Schönheit beschrieben. Ich bin mir sicher, dass dieses Buch mein Lieblingsbuch 2019 sein wird, obwohl wir uns noch in der ersten Jahreshälfte befinden.