Michael ThompsonBest Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children

I have read many books about bullying among preteens in the last couple years. But this is the first one I've read that gives true insight to the multilayered dynamics of the kids' relationships -- how each impacts the other. Why they are "mean" one day and loving the next. Friendships that adults may see as dysfunctional (and would/should flee), but why kids have learned to cope with them, with compassion and understanding and how important these friendships are to their development. Some ("friendships") should, of course, be avoided, but many cannot be and should not be. The real-life examples cited in the book are realistic scenarios which allow the reader to relate. This book was recommended to all middle school parents by our school principal, so I felt obligated to take a look at it. But reading it also gave me insight to how well he (the principal) must understand our children at this age -- and that has been a real comfort. After reading this book, I have a better understanding of how to empower my children, how to help them identify and avoid potential conflicts or victimizations -- without adult involvement. Of course much of this comes from maturity -- of which they have more this year than last -- and can thus now navigate these situations better on their own. Importantly, this also changes the balance of power/relationships and the group dynamics. As a result, I am more relaxed knowing the children feel more confident and empowered. I highly recommend this book.

It's a very interesting book that gives us a new perspective about children and the relationships they establish. How to deal with it, what to do, what not to do. it's a great book for professionals and parents as well.

Michael Thompson, Ph.D. is the author of the bestseller "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. His latest, written with compassion, humor, and practicality, is an insightful look into the sometimes mysterious world of child development.As a special education teacher, and soon to be school counselor, I have long held that those who have children, and work with children need a keener understanding on why children do the things they do, if we are to care for them, and serve them better. This book will go along way in fostering this understanding among parents, teachers, and practioners because it helps us understand how a child views her world.Written in conjuction with journalist Catherine O'Neill Grace and Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D. "Best Friends, Worst Enemies..." provides such a keen insight into the social lives of children, it is almost as if it was written by a child, because they have such an excellent perspective.

What a wonderful book! Very well-written and engaging. I'm not quite finished with it yet, but I find the information very useful and insightful. I find myself sharing what I'm learning from this book with both other teachers and parents. I highly recommend this book!

Good overview of the role of friends in children's development. Easy and enjoyable to read.

This was an incredibly insightful book about the social lives of children. As a parent of two boys--10 and 7--I saw many of the situations they experience in the book. It also helped relieve my anxiety about how to deal with the inevitable conflict that comes from interaction with other children, especially in school. One of the most valuable insights was the idea that parents should not "interview for pain". In other words, don't repeatedly ask about the trouble your child has had with kid x because it reinforces the negative, and does not acknowledge the fact that kids get over hurts far more quickly than adults. Highly recommended for parents and teachers.

After watching a feature documentary on the power of social relationships to shape a child's life into adulthood, I was already interested in learning more. This book filled the bill, especially the sections which revealed how children use power (and even bullying) to both include some children and exclude others. I think most of us remember the playground bullies but what this book did was show how parents can help to change bullying behavior, give their children skills to handle bullies and lessen the damaging effects of their behavior. This book focuses on far more than bullies and those who purchase it will find it filled with rich insights into the social world of children and how they view their friendships and connections with other children.

This book is so powerful. As a parent or educator, it takes you on a step by step journey of the stages your child will encounter as he/she grows up. I learned so much. I would recommend this book to anyone who is going to have a baby. Be prepared. I wish I had read it before my child was born rather than years after.

Everything including delivery was as promised.

A must read for any parent!!! Easy to read and a great advice book. It helps to worry less 😊

This is an excellent book - I just wanted to confirm what the other reviewer has said