Taming The Abrasive Manager: How To End Unnecessary Roughness In The Workplace (The Jossey-Bass Management Series)

The author doesn't like to use the word "bully", she likes to use the term "abrasive". I can think of other choice words that Amazon won't print. This book is a must have if you feel oppressed, harassed, threatened, bullied, etc. at work. I've read all of the "bully" books out there and I find this very helpful for front-line employees and for CEOs, but read it in conjunction with Robert Sutton's "The No (expletive) Rule". I can't write the title or Amazon will delete my review. "Taming" answers three main questions not covered in any other book. 1.What is wrong with bullies? Why do they do what they do? 2.Why doesn't management ever do anything that really makes them stop and why don't they get rid of bullies if they know that they cause so much trouble in the workplace? 3. What can I do about my bully? What can I expect if I report him to HR? If I sue? If I get a bunch of my co-workers to file a group complaint to HR? If I just tell my bully to please treat me with respect? (Haha!)This author has seen the repurcussions of various "solutions" that bullied employees have tried, some which management says they want you to do, but will get you fired and others that management doesn't want you to know about that may work if you have the money and backbone to implement them. Doesn't management know anything about the abusive, abrasive bully's behavior? (Yes.) Why don't they do anything? (Read the book and find out!) When upper management finally acknowledges that there is a problem that may lead to a harassment lawsuit or public embarassment, that's when they call in the author, also known as "The Boss Whisperer" to get the abrasive manager to understand that his abusive behavior is wreaking havoc on the employees, damaging the company's bottom line, hurting the company's reputation as a great place to work, hurting his own reputation and that it's in his own best interest to get with the program and treat others with civility by undergoing extensive counseling--or else. That's the key. The threat of what the "or else" might be to the abrasive manager. The author believes that these abrasive managers are really just humans who were probably abused as children and have never been taught empathy. I guess that's where she and I part ways. I don't think she's been on the receiving end of the likes of my bully. She's interviewed and counseled many a bully, but I don't think she's been in the position of being a financial hostage to someone that powerful. Bullies are cold, calculating, manipulative and use rage as a tool for thier own self-gratification. They learn to "fake" empathy when it suits their purposes toward someone in power who has whatever they need at the time. Other than that one particular statement about abusers not being taught empathy as children, I'll go with the entire rest of the book. It really is a must read, above and beyond any other self-help books for bullying, with the exception of Robert Sutton's book.

Dr. Crawshaw's book offers a unique approach to targeting solutions for abrasive boss behavior. Taken from her extensive research in the field on management and workplace bullying, this book is a departure from traditional works on bully bosses by focusing on the root causes of why some managers resort to destructive interpersonal aggression in their management styles. Dr. Crawshaw walks you through her approach to coaching abrasive managers, and offers techniques for getting abrasive bosses to acknowledge their abrasive behavior, care enough to abandon it, and learn positive management strategies. The book offers techniques and insights that anyone, especially internal corporate practitioners, can utilize to intervene with abrasive executives, managers, and supervisors to motivate them to change their behavior.. Dr. Crawshaw's tone is realistic and reflects her expertise in developing empathy in abrasive leaders to improve their interactions with coworkers.

I bought this book after attending a conference at which the author spoke. I highly recommend it to HR professionals, supervisors, management, labor and employment attorneys, and even employees who are suffering at the hands of an abrasive co-worker. It gives great insight into why abrasive co-workers, particularly supervisors, behave like they do. It also describes how to make abrasive employees realize the error of their ways and then give them a fair shot to either fix their performance issues or move on to different employment. It also discusses how difficult it can be to get top level management to address the issue of an abrasive employee (a too common occurrence), the reasons why, and explains solid business reasons why top management should address the issue. Anyone who is experiencing the affects of employing an abrasive leader, whether a victim, witness, or management employee who has to deal with the aftermath, will benefit from this book.

I just loved this book. Laura has a sharp, witty and deeply insightful view into the behaviors and motivations of every leader. Who among us has never suffered "working for the man" in our career? I have been fortunate enough to have the chance to lead many organizations, and more than once I have caught the abrasive manager come out of my mouth!This book is a short read. It's only 200 pages long, so there is no excuse for even the laziest reader. If you lead a team of any size, I beg you read this. If you work for someone who makes you miserable, this book is the answer to your prayers. The first few chapters create an easy to understand framework for evaluating the "why" of bad behavior in a manager. And the latter part of the book give practical, immediately useful advice on how to change your or your managers behavior.It's spot on and worth the few hours it takes to digest this book and put it to good use. Today.If you like this book and if you are interested in the topic of leadership, you might also like:  Inspiring Excellence

Thank you for writing this book! The author explains why some managers are abrasive and how to handle them from the perspective of the manager of an abrasive boss, the peer to an abrasive boss, and a direct report of an abrasive boss. Taking it to work where I can keep it handy.

This is the best book I've read about the steps that leaders, facilitators, and consultants can take to deal with nasty and demeaning managers. I especially like how Crashaw uses specific examples of the kinds of language that these bullies use, and presents samples of conversations to illustrate the most effective way to "tame" these destructive jerks.Robert Sutton[...

This book is more explanatory (without being derogatory) in regard to how to deal with these folks which makes it practical and useful.