Wife for Life: The Power to Succeed in Marriage

WHY IS THIS NOT REQUIRED READING FOR WOMEN?! OH MY GOODNESS!! I can't even begin to describe how this book has transformed my life, but I will try! After a divorce that was statistically right where most of us land (woman initiates, 7 year average, man isn't giving her what she needs) and into a second marriage, I was finding many of the SAME issues popping up with my husband... of course the "jerk" said then maybe it was something I was doing, but of course I dismissed it- HE was the one being obtuse! We went to counseling for a while (because it's BOTH of our faults, right?!), and while we learned some stuff, I didn't feel he was really applying many of the principles or able to get it and use it. After a huge blowup and me feeling like once again, I was shutting down my feelings for him because of the hurt (hello AGAIN, Dream Breaker Road), I decided I needed to figure this marriage thing out. I read the book and holy smokes, I realized how much I really WAS at fault, not that I was doing things wrong, but because I had no idea what I or he was doing (i.e. he doesn't care, doesn't listen, doesn't want to be around, he felt he couldn't do anything right, etc.), and I never realized how much POWER I have to change the trajectory of our marriage until I read this book and immediately started putting my role into play- what a difference it made!I have bought and gifted this book literally a dozen times to women close to me, and wish it was a required curriculum, as there would be a ton less hurt and heartache if so. If you get a chance, check out the author on YouTube or find some webinars that she is speaking in. Personally, I highly recommend checking out our Crazy Ladies (Chapter 9)- those resounded the most with me as I found so many of my behaviors that were meant to get him to change his responses to have the OPPOSITE effect of what I was going for, and many things I simply didn't realize I was doing that pushed him away! Like anything worth doing, this is not a quick fix but is about continuous improvement; I know what to look for, but sometimes don't see it or can't stop myself from going ahead with words or actions that don't positively affect our relationship, so then I get to apologize, and try to do better the next time, perhaps catching myself as I am doing it, and as I am continually aware, eventually BEFORE I do it!My husband and I are both extremely stubborn, independent people, and neither of us "need" each other; I was always a tomboy and pride myself on my ability to do everything myself, but I now have a clear vision of how much more we are capable of achieving together, and I don't feel like my forever is hinging on our disagreements any more. Just by changing the way I interact with him, HE has started naturally responding to fulfill my needs without me even asking, and when I do need to ask, he is HAPPY to do it and doesn't feel that I am not happy with him. We still have a long way to go, and I am continuing my progress with Wife For Life University (like private coaching for women, but with the support and feedback of a whole host of women in all stages of relationships, including face-to-face with the master Ramona herself!). No longer am I sitting back in a group of women griping about all the wrongs of our husbands, but instead can offer positive perspectives because I now see much of where HE is coming from. We all mean well, but they use an analogy of different operating systems for men and women- both get the same things done on the forefront, but behind the scenes, the systems are completely different. For example, the men are "relaxing" while the women are slaving away, because biologically, he NEEDS downtime to recharge himself; he doesn't see all of the things we do because he is wired differently to respond to different stimuli; and how he puts us on the back-burner for work, because he feels he has to provide for us, as we are the most important thing to him. When those things clash, we now have tools to address our needs with him, rather than being upset or hurt by his biological actions. And for us, the women, we have so much power to take our own happiness into our own hands without that being dependent on him! We need our OWN pleasures and ways to recharge ourselves, but it looks and feels much different than his. These are just some of the concepts, and the book provides the tools to allow a perspective shift, understanding, patience, respect, love, and so many more parts of the puzzle. Before, I had this beautiful picture on the puzzle box, but when I poured out the contents, I couldn't find pieces, pieces were upside down so I couldn't see what they were, some parts got damaged because I tried to force them to fit, and my picture kind of sucked and took forever to make progress on, so I gave up on the first puzzle, only to try again the same way with the next puzzle, thinking it must be the puzzle. This book has allowed me to figure out why I want to even try another puzzle, understand the puzzle take time to put that picture together, and then step by step put together the border of my puzzle so I am now able to more efficiently put the rest of the pieces in. I still have to find the right piece for the right place, but all the pieces are there, I know better than to force them but can gently try until I find the right fit (although sometimes I still get a little ram-jammy because I get impatient!), but my puzzle is coming together much better now! (Fyi, I'm not much into puzzles either, but like the analogy!)

I'm a newlywed and I am so grateful I made reading this book a priority on my pre-wedding "to do list." It should be required reading for anyone preparing for marriage or was recently married. Zabriskie targets the women who are married to "Nice Guys" as in they are well intentioned, kind, well meaning but far from perfect (just as we are far from perfect). She makes it quite clear that if you are in abusive or harmful relationship that you should seek professional help and that her book is not aimed at this audience. Nevertheless, this book is a relatively inexpensive form of marriage counseling/ therapy and far more fun and rewarding to read this book than to go through a divorce.One of the strengths of the book is that the author's conversational style is warm and inviting. I appreciate that I felt like Zabriskie was speaking to me as though I were a good friend and we were having a long "girlie chat." Furthermore, I appreciated that while she drew heavily from her personal experiences, she supported her assertions with professional opinions, studies and research. Together her argument is wholly compelling as it appeals to both the emotional and logical aspects of how men and women interact.I also appreciated Zabriskie's approach in that she offered practical advice so you knew how to apply the ideas she presents in her book. Additionally, as I read the book, I immediately wanted to share it with all my friends so we could discuss it. It is the type of book that would spark a dialogue and could make quite interesting material for a book club. Although I am still new to being a wife, I appreciate this positive, hopeful and inspiring look at how to build a happy, long lasting and successful marriage. We need more material like this in this day and age.

WOW!! What can I say but WOW??? I would like to give this book an initial review with a fresh read, and then review it again after putting the concepts into practice.So. Ahem. May I preface this with the fact that I am a writer, and I revel in a well-written book. And THIS IS SO well-written. Ramona knows her craft. I didn't doubt that she had helped many women in person, but being able to convey the essence of that into a book is a GIFT. I feel like she is my friend, a relative, a confidant telling me the honest and startling stories of her early marriage and discoveries.Ramona's right-to-your-heart feel and tremendously lovely writing style is so alluring, I have reread some of my favorite parts to my husband. And in so doing, it has opened up discussions on how I can feel EMPOWERED and know that my role as a woman is essential in making our marriage work. The book is not pretentious or hyped, but solidly backed by and incredible spread of research and experience.Oh, and did I mention that Ramona is funny? I am a very quiet reader on the whole, but the event that led to the joint read with my husband was irreverent snort-laughter. From my bed (where I usually fall asleep before I get through any first page, except for The Hunger Games and Tuesdays with Morrie), I created such a raucous while reading that my husband could no longer concentrate on the important business e-mail he was composing.So I say, as my initial review: This is a grabber. The sample got me hooked and the Kindle version that I purchased is just right. You will find valuable information from the get-go, without any lag. Now I'm going to finish this puppy and see how the view-alterations help this 14-year marriage of mine mature in new ways. How EXCITING.

Very good book. Not for feminist single mom bitches though 😂

I heard about this author at the mom online conference and started her online program, but decided to get the book. At first I thought it was too old fashion, but applying the principles she explains made my husband ask what happened to the wife from the past 6 years and that whatever I am doing he welcomes the change. This was after I only adjusted one or two things I sometimes do. It is really eye opening and concise way to learn about the man you want to love. This is a must read for new wives and those looking for answers on how to have a legacy marriage. I thought I was already a pretty good wife but this book has helped me realize different ways I slowly break my husbands spirit.

I first came to know the author whimsically from one of her free webinar on marriage and eventually ended up being enrolled into her “wife savers “ online membership program.. and then also read her famous book “ Wife for life”... henceforth started the journey of personally knowing her from the live monthly membership interactions.. and very gradually I began to realize that I had not known much about marriage until then...the wonderful saga of learning about marriage still continues but it is under the beautiful and aptly able leadership of Ramona that this whole thing feels so appealing and doable..She has touched my heart like thousand others with her genuine compassion especially for women all throughout the globe...She has helped my marriage and blessed my family like countless others...her appeal and concepts are universal,easily applicable..and most importantly she has become my trusted confidante..highly recommend it.Him,from India

This is without a doubt the BEST book on marriage or relationships I have ever read! And I am currently reading it for the second time, which never happens for me! It is seriously transforming my marriage. I highly recommend it!

This book is changing my life. I now realize the power and responsibilities I have as a wife. I can see what circumstances and reactions on my part have caused in the past and I'm changing. This book has had a great impact on me and my marriage. I want my children to have the best example of a grand marriage in their parents.