Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (APA LifeTools Series)

Author Robert Enright, PhD, combines the integrity of proven science with the empathy and devotion of a personal therapist.This book provides clarity and structure to the process of forgiving. If you are looking for a quick read with a quick fix, bypass this book and search instead for the latest trends in pop-psychology. If not, please read on.Dr. Enright uses case studies and decades of test data to formulate a step-by-step guide with comprehensivejournaling questions to enhance the reader’s personal experience. Here’s what you’ll learn:-The definitions of and differences between forgiveness, trust and reconciliation-How anger and resentment are managed in the forgiveness process-How to convert destructive thoughts into quieter, more healthful thoughts-How to regain self-respect through accepting your pain and giving the gift of mercy-Techniques to change how you remember the past-How to replace hopelessness with purposeFor me, reading this book was time well spent. If your goal is to release your mind and body from the emotional prison of past injustices, Forgiveness is a Choice is the perfect choice for you.Phillip LeggAuthor of, OWN THE JOB - 5 Surprising Strategies for a Thriving Early Career

It's been four years since my wife of 9 years and mother of my two daughters abruptly replaced me with a married man she met at work. I have hated her since that day and the fall out for me has been one bad relationship after another. This last one made me realize that holding onto the grudge against my ex was not worth the failed relationships I had been experiencing. So I turned to this book as a crawling on my knees sort of attempt to change my outlook so I could free myself to be happy going forward. This was exactly what I needed. I breezed through the book, which reads like a how to manual in two days and have immediately been able to see my ex in a different light which has allowed me to cast away years of hate, anger, and resentment. I have no delusions that this feeling is permanent as this book makes it clear that forgiveness is a process and setbacks can and do happen and times will vary. In summary, I recommend this book to anyone that has a person or people in there life that they have been angry with for more than a brief amount of time. Life is too short to waste it being angry.

Teaches highly valuable life lessons and offers real insite into the forgiveness process. An extremely great tool for those in need of giving, receiving AND understanding forgiveness. I think everyone would truly benefit from reading this.

This is one of the best books I've read in a while. The amount of research put into the studies is second to none. I also like that it looks at forgiveness from a health standpoint. The effects that unforgiveness has not only on your mental health but on your physical body is shocking. It's very practical. You will have to roll up your sleeves grab a note pad, a pen and do some real work. You will definitely uncover quite a bit; things that were tucked away and hidden in your heart begin to surface. Highly recommend this book to any and everybody who has ever been hurt by someone they love.

This book was recommended by my Psychologist.. as i have add and hyeractivity and coupled with that, i also have longstanding anger/resentment issues... I think the anger and resentment have been a large contributing factor to unhealthy relationships... along the way... This book speaks to me and it is fabulous.... I have ordered 3 of these books and the first one was hardback and came with a paper cover that was very significant to the book and the next 2 books came without the cover... eliminating some very important information.... Thanks much... .pj ...Berkshire Hathaway.. Your Real Estate Professional Nationwide..

This is an excellent book on the topic of forgiveness, and more than just a "feel good", "Let's get into a positive place about hard things" book -- this one offers a concrete, step-by-step, practical approach. I was really impressed with the studies they had done at universities and the results they achieved, even with people who started out by say, "No, what happened to me was too terrible. I will never forgive." But we all know (or we suspect) that not forgiving keeps us in a state of mental, emotional, and sometimes physical unwellness. So although we don't have to condone the acts we are looking to forgive, the forgiving heals us. However this is not the kind of book you can read through, give some thought to and be "done." It asks you to do lots of writing (which is critical to this working), sometimes what might seem like repetitive writing, and it takes work. And it asks you to think about, remember, and feel some hard emotions. It's not an instant fix. It's a process, a healing process you put time and work into, but the results will be worth it. Over the years, for various reasons, I have worked with several counselors and therapist. Lots of times I felt like they were nice to talk too, but didn't give me real skills to solve what I was facing. This book does, I think.

My son who has been struggling to forgive his ex wife has been working through this book and he says that it has helped him immensely. He likes the exercises in particular.

Have some deep rooted issues that need resolution and keeping you from moving forward in life? This is your book. Read and re-read.

Growing up, I was never taught how to forgive people or even that it might be a good or honourable thing to do. Pretty much everyone in my family can hold a grudge like you wouldn't believe. I was never granted forgiveness and so I never particularly felt that others should be either. I recognised quite a long time ago that I had difficulty forgiving people, but I didn't identify the habit of resentment as a contributing factor to poor mental health until more recently.The impetus for me to buy this book was a very unpleasant conflict with a supervisor, which left me angry, distracted, and afraid to be myself or speak up around people. Over a couple of months I went through the book and wrote most of the recommended journal entries. I think this book has been a very good introduction to forgiveness and I will be returning to it as a reference in the future.There are many good points about this book: 1) It provides a clear, step-by-step guide that includes an important definition of forgiveness and an exploration of why it is NOT the same thing as forgetting, excusing or reconciling 2) The author gives examples of controlled studies (albeit small ones) that were used to test and refine the methods given 3) Many case studies are included, with a range of “offences” from the relatively small to what some would consider unforgivable 4) The author is very empathetic and does not dismiss the deep pain and anger felt by the reader, or for that matter the victims in case studies where the offence might be dismissed as trivial by others.One thing I do actively disagree with the author on is that he states family members should always attempt to reconcile unless it is dangerous to do so. I disagree with this because there are certain people (including family members) that I derive zero benefit from being around. It may not be physically dangerous, but it causes me considerable stress and sets back the progress I have made over many years. Also, who is considered a family member? What about a stepsibling or an in-law? An ex-spouse? A distant cousin? This one point of his seemed very out-of-step with his otherwise scientific and well-justified approach. I imagine it comes from his faith; this would be fine if he stated that it was his personal belief, but the reason is not given in the text.Overall I would heartily recommend this book to anyone. I have hope for a more forgiving world...

I really like the book. It is never too late to learn simple things in life. Got it for a gift as well, and my friend enjoy it.

good quality and arrive in time.

The book came promptly and is in excellent condition, just like promised. This book is an amazing resource for those looking to understand what forgiveness is and how to achieve forgiveness. It's well-written and is truly effective.

We are using this book in a group setting and I is a wonderful resource. Much would seem to be common sense but I have observed that common sense is not all that common anymore.CaS