Nura MaznaviLove, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women

This book is revolutionary! Everyone should read it. Here's why:First, I imagine it is very liberating for Muslim women to read what their sisters tell the world -- with utmost candor -- about love, dating, marriage, and sex as a Muslim woman. I read the comments posted on Facebook and can tell that this conversation has already shifted into high gear and picking up speed fast.For non-Muslim readers, the book will shatter a lot of myths about Islam and the people who practice Islam. As someone who lived in Iran for over a year and is a bit more familiar with Islamic culture than most Americans, one of the reasons I wrote my own novel about an American G.I. finding true love with an Iranian woman was to introduce American readers to the idea that Muslims are people just like you find anywhere.This book accomplishes a lot of the same thing, but with a clearer more focused purpose without muddying the water with plot twists and intrigue. You get to read dozens of real life stories that cut right to the chase.Here are some things you will learn from reading this book:1. Muslims come in every possible stripe: from merely 'Islamic by culture' to the very devout, from liberal punk rockers to extremely conservative who wear the full body covering and everythig in between. This was not news to me. I saw this everyday when I lived in Iran. Back then there were no punk rockers, it was the era of the discoteque and Tehran had several where the young women wore ultra tight hot pants. But step into the old bazaar, and you were sure to find lots of women wearing the full chador. In short: There is not monolithic Islam and there never has been.2. Life is extremely messy and you don't get to choose a lot of what life hands you. Two of those things can be your sexuality and your religion. This is as true for Muslims as anyone. Most people don't ever think about the fact that religions are something we are born into. It's chosen for us by our family and our culture. It can seem highly unfair that later on in life we discover our sexuality -- well after our religious identity has been established. You'll read stories like that in this book.One of the most interesting stories was the one about the very devout lesbian Muslim woman who falls in love with another very devout lesbian Muslim woman, who also happens to be married!! The two women face exactly the same kind of challenges that they would have growing up as conservative Christians including the inner struggle with 'coming out of the closet'.3. Muslim parents are just like parents anywhere. They want the best for their children and that includes finding the right person to marry. Western readers may object to the idea that marriages should be arranged as happens in more conservative Muslim families, but even in the most liberal of Muslim households one parent or the other can and will vigorously protest an ill advised marriage choice. If a parent is unbending, it's sad to read about. In other stories it's inspiring to see the parent being proactive in working with their child to help them make a good decision.And just like in most families, the two parents are not necessarily of one mind. Now there's an understatement!In all cases prestented in the book, the children are involved with their families in one way or another. I think most western readers will be rather impressed by this. I was.4. I think non-Muslims will be amazed to discover how fully American these women are. In many of these stories, you could very easily insert for example 'Bible' for 'Koran', where the woman turned to scripture for guidance and then you wouldn't have a clue that it was a Muslim woman describing her life.5. Muslims are just like you and me. They want to have the same kind of fun, eat at the same kinds of restaurants, go to the same movies, enjoy love and intimacy with a life long partner -- just like you do.6. Muslims do not want to kill you, is an underlying message you will get from reading this. Just like most of us, Musims want to live a right life guided by spritual principles. This book will go far in riding the world of Islamophobia.Those are just a few examples of things you will learn.A lot of this book was old news to me. I knew before buying it and reading it that I would be familiar with a lot the material presented. It was very affirming for me in that regard.What was not new was the absolute candor with which these women shared their stories. There is nothing in any of the stories presented that candy coats the issues. Prepare to be shocked at times. I thus learned far more from reading it than I expected. I am eager now for volume two.Perhaps the guys will get a chance to tell their stories in a future book. :-)Douglas Roberts is the author of the romantic suspense novel "The Man Who Fooled SAVAK" set in Tehran, Iran in 1971.

Book Review: Love, InshAllahThe Secret Love Lives of American Muslim WomenThough Islam is growing in America, one bumps up constantly against ubiquitous incompatibilities between Islam and Western culture. Nowhere is this incompatibility more prominent than in an American Muslim woman's search for a mate.The stories in this book reveal the problematic position of American Muslim women who would like to get married. They must either make compromises, or take a hard line with respect to their religion, further limiting their chances for finding a mate in a society that is still composted of mostly non-Muslim residents. Some of these writers have shaved the edges off Islamic teachings , even to the extent of doing haram behavior, knowingly, deliberately. The instinct to find a mate and establish a family often takes precedence over familial and religious dictates regarding how to do so.Islamic customs, which relied heavily on community relationships, now operate in an anemic facsimile of their original effectiveness. American customs for dating, sex and marriage, are not officially available to these women.To make matters worse, Muslim communities in the United States are composed of people from varying cultural and linguistic traditions. American Muslim women sit between a rock and a hard place; even men tiptoe across a loose tightrope when courting them.When the Abrahamic religions were being codified, the human life span was much shorter. Young people did not have to navigate a prolonged period (named adolescence) between childhood and adulthood. Mating occurred at physical maturation. These days, physical maturation plays second fiddle to religious mores that were not written for adolescence or homosexuality. Add to that the economic and educational demands of today that also postpone marriage well beyond the best physical stage for it.At least one of my readers will remind me that Islam is applicable to all peoples for all times, and to that reader I say, "Then it will have to find a way to reconcile human nature with the unnatural frustration arising out of modern adolescence. It will also have to accommodate an increasing incidence of homosexuality."Homosexuality, by the way, does not recede when it manifests in a Muslim, and several of these writers are brave enough to talk about it. One would think that if Allah hated homosexuality enough to forbid it, He would give us better tools for coping with it in a halal manner, but this is not the case. Homosexuality will prove to arise from physiological and genetic predispositions, and therefore will never be responsive to blame or volition on the part of those who find themselves claimed by it.I respect the women who've told their stories, and I admire their courage in trying to find a third way, a way to live as Muslims and as Americans, partaking in the blessings of both identities and navigating the inherent troubles. Some women have tossed Islamic teachings out the window, while others have have cut themselves off from the benefits for which people choose to live in America. None, however, have turned their backs on Islam, itself, and most have become stronger in faith as a result of their trials, regardless of whether they succeeded in finding a mate.Not all the essays are marked by conflict or frustration. Several of the women met their husbands in the traditional Islamic way, through the help of parents and relatives, without having to date and sift through a succession of boyfriends. These women are the lucky minority. Several others met their husbands by means unconventional in either American or Islamic cultures; their stories prove that finding a mate need not conform to a strict prescription.The women represented in this book are pioneers, and through them, especially with respect to how they raise their children, a stable American Islam will develop. Oh, I know. There's no such thing as "American Islam" or "Saudi Islam" or, or... Well, yes there is. How do you suppose Islam, or any other religion, survives over the centuries, migrates to different continents, and serves populations that have never have heard of one another? An Islam that thrives in the West is still evolving. This book forms a link in the process, and will eventually be regarded as an historical document. I hope the children of this book's authors will read their mothers' stories with a sense of relief because they will not have to blast through the moral and social difficulties endured by their parents.

Stories about a lot of different Muslim Women in America and their stories about finding love and getting closer to God. Some were cute, some were romantic, funny, sad, depressing, scary, sweet, etc.... older women, young girls, teens, and everything in between.... a range of cultures, languages, degrees of religiousness, from all different states and different stages in their respective journeys. Overall, I loved it. From the minute I picked it up, I was addicted and couldn't put it back down! A very fast and entertaining read :)

Love, Inshallah is a beautiful collection of love stories told by various muslim women from all walks of life. This book gives hope to those of us struggling to find love. Each story is so different from the next that anyone who reads this book will find at least one story (if not a few) that they wholeheartedly relate to. A definite must read for all single muslim women!!

As a fellow muslim woman, albeit a British one, I found out about this book through Hijabman whose wife had written a chapter about her version of their story. However, once I got the book I knew I was in for the ride of my love.This book contains happy stories, sad stories and stories that just leave you in awe. I was amazed at the different women who wrote their stories of love and were prepared to share them. We all live in our own little bubble so it's nice to step out and see what other muslim feel about love.I'd urge everyone, muslim/non-muslim male or female to read this book. It will make you laugh and cry and leave you in very little doubt that muslim women are strong and powerful.

Not at all what I expected..... all women everywhere appear to have the same love struggles and struggles of the heart - a great book for being people together.

Great anthology of various types of love stories

Short stories so you can easily read one in a night and then if you wanted to read something else or continue onto the next story. Also really interesting content. Even my boyfriend loved it.