Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life

This book is a must have for all parents

Este es un libro que todo padre tiene que leer. Te muestra una manera totalmente diferente de que el niño regule sus emociones. Lo que aprendes en este libro no te lo da el sentido común, por eso creo que todo padre debería de leer y aplicar los conceptos de este libro.

Highly recommend this book.

Looked interesting based on the contents. However I found little value after reading a couple of chapters.

Such an important and interesting book for anyone whose child struggles with anxiety, paying attention, having meltdowns, violent and challenging behaviour etc. Stuart Shankar is a leading authority on helping children to learn to self-regulate. The book covers the different areas of stress that contribute to the dysregulation of the alarm system, leading to it being difficult or impossible for the child to switch off and relax. Looking at the physical, cognitive, emotional, social and what he calls prosocial domains, he explains how stressors in each of these areas contribute to overload and how they interact with and reinforce each other leading to the child's emotional brakes wearing out so they can no longer get themselves calm. He explains how each child is different and that once a child is in fight / flight / overwhelm the first thing to do is to work out what will help to calm and sooth them - like a shoulder massage, bath, music, drawing, exercise etc etc. A very different approach to the usual one of telling them off, putting them in time out, giving detentions or punishments for not meeting adult expectations - actions that increase stress and lead them to find it even harder to regulate themselves. By looking with different eyes at these behaviours and difficulties as manifestations of stress Shankar suggests we can learn to help our children to calm themselves and bring their rational thinking brain back on line. I cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone who has or works with children with any of the difficulties I mentioned above.

This book is invaluable for teachers, principals, administrators, clinicians, and parents. Shanker's focus on self-regulation 1) as biological and 2) as a skill set that is built through positive interactions first, between parent and child and later through high-quality educator interactions are core concepts we all need to heed. Applying research and case studies, Shanker fluidly moves from one step to the next in recognizing, appreciating and then responding to the biological, physical, social and emotional experiences that enhance or disrupt regulation. With practical concepts and actionable advice, the reader walks away with critical understanding as well as advanced tools for their interactive tool-kit with infants, toddlers, children and teens. I highly recommend this book as well as Megan McClelland's Stop, Think, Act, if you work with or parent children who are anxious, angry, over-the-top, sensory sensitive, inattentive, impulsive or very active. If you are planning to have a baby, it's a smart choice as well so that you can reframe your child's behaviors in a manner that feeds rather than disrupts their emotional energy and attachment. Thank you to Dr. Denny Coates for recommending Self-Reg to me.