Self-Discipline in Difficult Times: Pressing Ahead (or Not) When Your World Turns Upside Down (Self-Help Essays)

This is the first of a planned series called "Self-Help Essays" by Martin Meadows. Meadows has written 6 prior books on Self-Discipline, plus books on confidence, grit, dealing with failure, and focus, that are all based on scientific research. He states in the opening of this book that this series will be more "opinion pieces" - based more on his personal experiences and observations. The current book, Self-Discipline in Difficult Times: Pressing Ahead (or Not) When Your World Turns Upside Down, is succinct - 74 pages in print, 1 hour 19 minutes in audio book - yet has helpful, easily grasped help for what to do when the brown stuff hits the rotating device.Chapter 1 opens with Meadows own significant event, a sudden death of a family member while he was overseas. This chapter focuses on controlling the immediate reaction to a tragic event. Meadows urges his readers to take time to absorb and process the blow - recognizing it for what it is and the impact it will have. Describing his own reaction to this death he writes "The only thing that “helped” me was to revert to survival level, focusing on my basic needs alone: somehow get sufficient sleep, try to eat healthy, and attempt to move just a little bit." He warns against taking impulsive actions, restraining the urge to lash out at those who wronged you, or other self-destructive actions. My favorite line of the book emphasizes the importance of sleep during this time so that you are thinking clearly: "How many reputations could have been saved by simply consulting one’s pillow?"Chapter 2 focuses on managing your coping mechanisms. While rest is important initially, Meadows warns of giving into the temptation to withdraw from the situation by sleeping too much, or doing too much of anything - binge watching TV, for example. While a few days of using (abusing?) coping mechanisms is not a problem, it will become a problem quickly unless you take steps to manage your use. He also suggests seeking support form family and friends - even if one is an introvert. Other suggestions are to use physical activity or "restorative productivity" while in the early recovery stages. Meadows cautions "Looking for solutions is okay, but taking action is usually not." In place of taking action directly on the situation, he advocates "“restorative productivity”—working on tasks of little importance that nonetheless will make you feel productive and help restore some normalcy."Chapter 3 deals with steps to take when you are ready to deal with the situation that has turned your world upside down. First he suggests reframing your crisis, or changing how you perceive the situation - especially when the situation may have a silver lining that opens new opportunities. Secondly he urges his readers to focus on what they can control, rather than focusing on all the things they cannot control. Thirdly, he introduces the concept of "surf so you can surf tomorrow." By this he means to have a longer range view than just the current moment, even if it is just tomorrow, and to govern your actions in light of that longer focus.Chapter Four deals with what to do after reaching some level of resolution or control over the situation - how to prepare for the next situation. Meadows recommends intentionally putting oneself in "mini-trials" to develop your coping ability so you are better prepared for the next major trial. Ideas include fasting, facing fears, cold showers, anything that is uncomfortable that increases your ability to be uncomfortable. He also suggests questioning the unwritten rules you have and operate by each day. Many of these rules may have outlived there usefulness and need to be discarded. Lastly, he suggests even changing how you view yourself and try to change that perception. Instead of just saying you are an introvert, try more group situations to reduce the limits of the introvert label.The last chapter gives helpful advice on helping others as they go through tragic events. He uses a "Do - Do Not" framework of what one should do, and what one should not do, when trying to help. For instance, "Do empathize, Do Not Judge;"Do Tell the Truth, Do Not Offer Cheap Platitudes."While this book is brief, it gives very pointed advice for how to deal with difficult circumstances. I think of this book as a first aid manual, intentionally written succinctly to allow accessing the critical information quickly. I highly recommend both the written book, and the audio book narrated by John Gagnepain. I did receive a free copy of the audio book in exchange for agreeing to review the book.

This book contains valuable advice on the topic without the frills thats so many other books have. The advice all made sense and felt true to me. But if citations from other resources are important to you, you won't find that here.

This book is definitely coming out at the right time in the age of lockdown and massive unemployment for our society.But as I read each page of Meadow's new work, I kept saying to myself, "Where was a book like this two or three years ago?!" For the last three years, I have experienced drama-filled separation and divorce from a narcissist, being let go from a job that I moved to a new city for, and the eventual decision to leave a 20 year profession. This book is PACKED with advise that would have helped me in the initial stages of grief and loss and paved the way to acquiring the Discipline I needed and wanted to survive and then thrive.As it turned out, I did it all backward instead! I have read at least 5 of Martin Meadow's books in Discipline, Focus, and Grit and they have been "bibliotherapy" for me and a guide to starting anew before I read this new book. I see how things have come together as a result. However, I highly, highly recommend you start with this one and then go deeper into transforming yourself with his other books. If you have had even one event that has turned your life upside down, read this book! But if you are like me and have had several kicks in the head all at once, you MUST read this book!

I think this book is very relevant in the current global crisis. It's written in a way that doesn't judge how you deal with your problems, but rather shows you that there are other possibilities. It promotes self-care and self understanding as opposed to self-guilt and self-harm thought patterns that are highly prevalent on our society. He recommends voluntary suffering as a tool to prepare and mitigate future hardships, by stretching our tolerance limits but on our own terms.I think it is a good, short read when you are feeling down locked up in quarantine that will give you some perspective.

To read! The statement that your the average of the five people you spend most of your time with is not a just a catch phrase. I’ve been studying self help books for 30 years and it’s spot on! The content is not worth the read. I found the suggestions for pain exposure ridiculous and the other advice to be common sense. The author doesn’t write in a way that makes you feel intrigued or engaged to take in the message either.

This is a very concise and to-the-point guide to difficult times. More of a checklist, actually. But come on, when you're down you do not have enough, well, self-discipline to read 800-pages tomes. You need a quick list: stop doing that, do that, plus the short explanation how. And this book provides exactly what is needed. This is a first aid kit everybody should read now, and then keep at hand. More, there is a bonus chapter at the end on how to help others. Go for it, you will not regret.

This is a very helpful book in these pandemic times. When some people is trying to implement an agenda of reducing populations, controlling mind and bodies and brainwashing everyone with power and money, an advise to think out of the box and not following dogmas is very welcome. Thank you Mr Meadows My favourite quote is " Aperson who blindly follows all the rules, traditions, and societal expectations will inevitably end up unable to adapt to a different world, like the one we're unfortunately living in now"

Simple, yet practical examples!

I am a great fan of Martin Meadows and have several of his books. He provides wise counsel and this book is no different. It is difficult to write on a subject about which we have little information. And he may write a different in two years. For the moment I think this is a useful book and gives some perspective at a time when we are all at sea.

I have the Kindle edition of this book and really enjoyed it. Martin asked if anyone would review his audible edition so I jumped at the chance to get the information from a different perspective.His creative analogies of how he overcame his fears by using his transferable skills; exploring his mental limits and accepting uncontrollable events allowed personal growth. It was about facing his fears and doing it anyway. He gave clear caveats so the listener would not try anything extreme without seeking guidance.This book is an easy read with some simple solutions to enjoying and stretching yourself.

There is nothing about self discipline in this book. A total waste of money. I expected more but it didnt reach my expectations.