The Anatomy of Peace, Fourth Edition: Resolving the Heart of Conflict

This was well written and had good insights of how we can deal with challenges in our families in a way that brings peace to both sides. Thank you!

This is one of the best books I have ever read. Some books I read are entertaining, some are inspiring, some are educational, and some are life changing. This book has been life changing for me. I have purchased several copies that I have given as Christmas presents and plan to give some as wedding gifts as well.Some of my favorite quotes are:"We can treat our children fairly but if our hearts are warring toward them while we’re doing it, they won’t think they’re being treated fairly at all....As important as behavior is most problems at home, at work, and in the world are not failures of strategy but failures of way of being.""We first need to find our way out of the internal wars that are poisoning our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes toward others. If we can’t put an end to the violence within us, there is no hope for putting an end to the violence without.""And we have seen how one warring heart invites more "object seeing" and warring in others."...."No one can force a warring heart upon us. When our hearts go to war, we ourselves have chosen it.""Because when I betray myself I create within myself a new need-a need that causes me to see others accusingly, a need that causes me to care about something other than truth and solutions, and a need that invites others to do the same in response.""As painful as it is to receive contempt from another, it is more debilitating by far to be filled with contempt for another.""A heart at war needs enemies to justify its warring. It needs enemies and mistreatment more than it wants peace.""Whenever we need to be justified, anything that will give us justification will immediately take on exaggerated importance in our life. Self betrayal corrupts everything-even the value we place on things.""the more sure I am that I’m right, the more likely I will actually be mistaken. My need to be right makes it more likely that I will be wrong! Likewise, the more sure I am that I am mistreated, the more likely I am to miss ways that I am mistreating others myself.""Difficult people are nevertheless people, and it always remains in my power to see them that way.""Everyone I hated was always with me, even when I was alone. They had to be, for I had to remember what and why I hated in order to remind myself to stay away from them.""It isn’t so much what you did as what you invited.""Because most who are trying to put an end to injustice only think of the injustices they believe they themselves have suffered. Which means that they are concerned not really with injustice but with themselves. They hide their focus on themselves behind the righteousness of their outward cause.""It is not the sense of what to do but the desire to do it that’s at issue...When we have recovered those sensibilities towards others, we must act on them.""You have the biggest influence in your children’s lives, so if we want to be a positive influence with your children we better have strong relationships with you.""If we don’t get our hearts right, our strategies won’t matter. Once we get our hearts right, however, outward strategies matter a lot.""Our passions, beliefs, and needs do not divide but unite: it is by virtue of our own passions, beliefs, and needs that we can see and understand others’. If we have beliefs we cherish, then we know how important others’ beliefs must be to them."

Over the past 15 years, I have read and revisited the principle of self-deception taught in Anatomy of Peace numerous times. I may be overstating its importance, but this may be the most valuable idea I learned in life so far. It comes up every day, in every relationship, and it is deceptively powerful and subtle. But becoming aware of my self-deception and how to address it has opened the door to tremendous freedom and personal growth. The lesson of self-deception gave new perspective to the oft repeated advice, "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and "Do unto others as you'd have done to you."This has been an extremely valuable book in my family. It has helped me invite tremendously valuable improvements in my marriage, my relationships with my children, my coworkers, and everyone else I cross paths with as I go about life. I have lost my interest in making people change. I want to meet them where they're at in life. I want to understand their perspective. I want to help them, where I can, to make their own life better. I can't do it for them and I don't want to. Life is a wonderful experience. I would rather help people in their own efforts to realize their full potential, as opposed to fussing and fretting because other people aren't "doing it right". Why am I the right one and they are wrong? I have not only learned that we are smarter than I, but I welcome other's perspective and insights, which help me to see more clearly than I can on my own.

Haven't finished reading it

Thought provoking and applicable

This book is so timely. Just what our world needs now.

To get the full effect, the three books must be read, in no particular order. I began with Leadership and Self Deception, which intrigued me so much I immediately bought Anatomy of Peace and Outward Mindset. These books expose our inner motives, which is painful, but as the book is titled, it leads the reader to real peace. I've suggested this book to friends of mine: Sherrie was struggling to cope with her daughter's eating disorder which was spiraling out of control. She read it in 2 days and she's able to view the entire situation with a new vision and serenity.I began reading Leadership and Self Deception with a group of business partners looking to maximize ourselves to better serve others. We do this on a monthly basis and all the books we choose are profoundly life changing. Of all the books we've read in the past few years, this is number 2 (Insidious is number 1) and I refer back to the lessons regularly.

This book changed my life. I recommend it to anyone!! If you are needing directions on how to change harder relationships. THIS IS IT!

De lo mejor que he meido

This is my go to book when I am feeling or experiencing conflict or difficult situations. It has helped me understand myself and how I work with others and fins conflict resolution when dealing with teams. it has a really good way to help me understand myself and the way I interact with decisions and difficult situations.

Very well written and hard hitting. This type of books deepen the understanding of ourselves and people in general. It talks about the core of conflict. It talks about why do the conflicts happen in first place. So many books talk about thinking good about people who have hurt you. This books shows why and how. It has changed me, on level how I can have my heart at peace even during worst conflicts. If you feel you are at conflict very often, than give this book a try.

Hier kann jeder etwas für das Leben dazulernen. Das Buch hat mir wertvolle Anregungen gegeben, im Alltag jederzeit meine eigene Reaktion zu hinterfragen. Wer für sein Berufsleben noch dazulernen will, liest am Besten noch Leadership and Self-Deception

J'ai lu ce livre pour découvrir de nouvelles approches pour mon métier de coach. Le sujet aurait pu être, à mon avis, traité en quelques pages, là où il m'a semblé inutilement dilué et complexifié.