Winter Stars: An elderly mother, an aging son, and life's final journey

Startlingly insightful and brutally honest, Winter Stars is a sensitive story of unfolding self discovery and personal growth. Don’t miss it. I plan to read it for a third time.

I appreciate the honesty in this account of one person’s day to day, and in this case, year to year, experience caring for a loved one. Though each care giver’s situation is different, there are many aspects that are universal, and I think this book will resonate with many.

This book was an absolutely beautiful tribute to the author's mother. Some passages were breathtakingly beautiful. So poignant, complex, profound. I could relate to a lot of it, helping care for my fragile parents, both who have dementia. One good point that was made is, it's unusual for white men to care for their elderly parents like this author did. I also like how he gives huge accolades to the caregivers he hired to help him care for his mom - they were immigrant women from other countries, and brought great skill and compassion to their work. I was moved to tears more than once. I'm so glad he captured so many deep moments, what a treasure. A truly beautiful love story.

Winter Stars is not a prosaic how to on providing care for the elderly. Rather, it is a poetic ode, a touching love story of a mother and son who deeply care for each other. Here love is defined by action amidst ambiguity – the decision to move in with your aging mother, questioning anger and the urge to flee, and embracing god’s angels, Eileen and Sinai, who not only shared watching over Adelaide but also took the baton from Dave when about to fall. Yes, love is a mysterious force that binds and blinds and, in doing so, helps you see the invisible.Ultimately, this book will have you asking yourself, could I have done the same, and who will take care of me when it’s my time? Maybe, if we wish upon a Winter Star, it will be someone like Dave. For now, let’s just head “Downtown.”

I heard Dave Iverson talk about this book on KQED; other listeners, who have been and are caregivers, also shared what they learned, and told their stories. I read this book... Iverson's story about caring for his aging mother. Often, when caregiving for a loved one, you feel so alone and want to share your experience, but do not want to burden others. This story, well written, also felt like talking to a friend about one's own experience with caregiving.

Heartfelt easy read. Emphasis on the beauty of caregivers and makes one appreciate it truly is amazing people from other countries who provide the best of loving care....underpaid, underappreciated and yet doing God's work. We have much to learn from.these caregivers.

A gift for anyone who is or will be a caregiver.

WINTER STARS is an eloquently written and profoundly moving intimate memoir of the caregiving from an aging son and an elderly mother's final life journey. I enjoyed it immensely.A busy, successful broadcast journalist recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, Dave Iverson decided to do something he'd never quite imagined. Within the pages of this stunning debut memoir, the author shines!WINTER STARS is a moving story of his ten-year caregiving journey. At the age of 59, he moved in to take care of his 96-year-old mom. She ultimately lived to be 105 years old.Dave's father had passed away with Parkinson's, and his brother was diagnosed and himself. As a baby boomer, he knew he could not put his mother in a home. Until age 96, Adelaide lived in her house independently since the 1950s and after her husband passed. She was very active and lived life to the fullest.However, at age 96, when she came down with pneumonia, she decided to cut up her driver's license. She thought it was time, which gave her control of the situation. Adelaide did not want to die.Adelaide thought there were two of herself.The pretty and smart one who knows how to do things.Then there's the bad side—the one who's ugly and stupid and can't do anything.At times she does not know which one is present.At age 101, she began the early stages of dementia. She had been a force, a former teacher, devoted spouse, mother of three, an avid reader, a sports fan, a loyal friend, and a powerhouse volunteer. When he decided to move in, he did not know many things about being a caregiver. He never expected to be for an entire decade before her passing at age 105.TRIBUTE: As the author describes in this beautiful memoir, the journey affected him, humbled him, and reoriented him more than any other experience in his life. He also gives tribute to the remarkable women who accompanied him on this journey and those who changed his life and his mom's.I loved the two generous women who helped care for his mom, Eileen, and Sinai. If we all had two remarkable women like this at the end of our lives. The two women showed him caregiving was an exercise in acceptance. Even one undergoing cancer treatments of her own was always there. And the help of hospice nurse Chris and others. These two women turned the old house into a home once more.A beautiful memoir told with compassion and love. I especially love the quotes at different ages and stages from Adelaide and the honest words of the son. I adored the ending with both women there to the end and even the special outfit tunic and pants that the women had specially made for her and the way they cleaned and dressed her with special care before the hearse arrived, allowing the family time with her. Who could ask for anything more? Admirable, Dave Iverson's unselfish care for his mom.I highly recommend this book! A fitting title and eloquently written. We all want to die with dignity and hopefully pain-free in an environment with people who genuinely care for you and give you the personalized attention that you can be honest with until the end. Our healthcare is not cut out to give this specialized care as to why so many have changed the plans for their loved ones.NOTE: All royalties from the sale of Winter Stars go to support: The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson's Research, Dance for PD, and Avenidas, a San Francisco Bay Area Organization providing caregiver support.For the vast number of families confronting —or will soon face—a caregiving journey, Winter Stars offers an intimate, unvarnished portrait of the challenges, choices, and life lessons.#JDCMustReadBook

Read it in two days. It is an honest and beautiful tribute to a remarkable mother by a loving and humble son. It is also a practical help for those caring for elderly relatives.