Mother Pious Lady: Making Sense of Every India

great insight into the complexities of and changes going on in Indian society; did business in India for 15 years, lived there for 5. the book was both interesting and informative.

Love the crazy little insights which pepper the whole narrative! Every so often it makes you go - Yeah, that's so us!

Very Interesting.It gives very good insights about consumer psyche.

This is an amusing yet thought-provoking, insightful yet confounding, and relentlessly introspective, with hints of self-flagellation, book. The title is a nod to the specialised language used in the very specialised Indian area of matrimonial ads that appear in the Sunday papers. Over the years, these ads have enabled millions of marriages. A typical ad encapsulates the marital ambition of an average Indian man seeking his own version of Miss World, under the watchful gaze of his mother, often described as a pious lady, who as Santosh Desai points out in the book is probably keener on burning incense than burning brides.Mr Desai, a man of brands and advertising, has much insight into his generation - my generation - of Indians, into what shaped us, how we are changing and the inevitable what-next. Accordingly, the book is organised in 3 major sections: Where Do We Come From?, New Adventures Into Modernity and Dilemmas Of Change.Each section features individual chapters that contain several short essays on Indian behavioural quirks as a means to demonstrating what drives Indians. Where Do We Come From? focuses on our need to get value for money ("the Dhania factor"), relationships without the overt need for an immediate gain ("in praise of the unannounced visit"), the need to save and let save face ("the meaning of the slap"), the Indian interpretation of time as a transience ("Indian traffic as metaphor") and ingenuity in problem-solving ("the power of the imperfect solution").It is worth a mention that as is true of much in India, every behavioural peculiarity can be read in more ways than one. In his or her quotidian life, every Indian deals in multiplicities and contradictions, of meaning and reality, a theme not quite implicit in this book.The second section, New Adventures In Modernity, addresses a range of themes such as the Indian view of the family as a unit ("terms of endearment"), the redefining of masculinity ("Salman Khan and the rise of male cleavage"), the emergence of the new Indian woman ("in gentle praise of the saas-bahu sagas" and "the woman, exteriorized"), the phenomenon of celebrity ("of genuine fakes and fake genuines"), the idea of Family as emotional headquarters ("the joint stock family"), continued hyper-competitiveness ("the paranoid parent") and the negotiation with the old ("retrieving space slyly").All along Mr Desai maintains a raconteur's tone, sometimes with hints of understated humour and sarcasm. The tone changes in the last section, titled Dreams Of Grandeur, where his frustration at the behavioural dissonances of his compatriots becomes evident. He touches upon sensitive themes such as the Indian tendency to claim people of Indian origin around the world, craving western approval but getting offended easily, the growing desire to protect the interests of the few. This section sadly for its promise feels rushed. It could have been used to set an agenda or at least set forth a dialogue but perhaps that wasn't Mr Desai's intention.At 380 pages, it may be difficult to describe it as a breezy read but it really is, even despite its awkward organisation in themes, chapters and then short essays. For my part, I found myself laughing throughout the book. I recognised some things, I cringed at others and yet other things I sneered at, thus confirming what my terribly English friends call my "bourgeoisie credentials".To non-Indians, the liberal dose of Hinglish, Hindi and Indian in-jokes may become jarring after a while. As it happens, some of the in-jokes are already being lost as a new generation in their 20s grows up. In fact, my only peeve against this book is that it is aimed for no audience in particular. An irony considering Mr Desai's strong credentials as a marketing professional. Indians of my generation are reading it for amusement but we hardly are incapable, on reflection, of determining what shaped us through our childhood and teen and early adult years. Those, who are not Indian, may feel a bit alienated while reading the book as it sometimes reads like a swathe of in-jokes. One can argue that amusement is as important a utilitarian function as any other. However I feel it is a missed opportunity to bring this book to wider audiences interested in India and Indians.Even so the book would be a great cheat-sheet for dealing with a sliver of educated, middle-class Indians of a particular generation - Generation X, if you will. India however is a country in the midst of change, occurring at a pace one can blink and miss. In that respect this book is a balance sheet, not a P&L account. Perhaps a second edition, or an entirely new book, will be in order in a few years, when Generation X ceases to be the generation at the helm of India.Since no discussion on India and the Indians is complete without the obligatory mention of China and the Chinese, I have to say that a book like this is unlikely ever to emerge from China. For the simple reason that unlike the Indians, the Chinese do not explain themselves, do not debate issues, and definitely do not introspect in public view. But it is, I believe, immensely better to go in with a range of truths than a single official version. Whether you are interested in India for pleasure or for business, reading the book may prepare you much better than you imagine.

This book is perhaps one of the most interestingly written commentaries on the everyday life of post modern Indian Middle Class. Santosh's rich and entertaining style of writing is matched by his sharp observations and experiences.Must read for Indians who wonder why we are the way we are and want to be entertained while they discover it.

mother pious lady is a deeply poignant and insightful peek in to the wonderful world that is india. it is poignant and funny, but also deeply insightful and always respectful of what it means to be an Indian in an every changing India. For those of us born at a certain time it is a rich chronicle of our time and lives, and for those born later, a meaningful way to understand who we have become and why.

It seems somewhat incredulous when I realise that I took a few weeks to finish this book. This is mostly because I almost dreaded the prospect of finishing this book. I would dip into it infrequently to complete a chapter and then switch to other books I had in hand. I am a big fan of Santosh's Desai's writing - it is exquisite! He writes on everyday sights and events with simple narrative style and beautiful use of metaphors. But where I think he is outstanding is in his ability to analyse the seemingly mundane and routine experiences of life in India and to read its deeper meaning and significance. I would so often be left wondering "indeed this is so true...how did I not see it". That for me is intelligent writing. I am marking this book for re-read.

This book brings back memories of the 1970s. Those were the days of shortages and tiny salaries. Getting a phone connection took years and we Indians had a terrible inferiority complex. I remember Milkha Singh, also referred to as the “Flying Sikh” came forth in the Olympics. The whole country was very impressed with his performance. They said he almost won a bronze in the Olympics. Members of the Indian cricket team used to travel by bus to Eden Gardens because they were to poor to afford cars. Those were the days of 16 hour power cuts and no air conditioning. As there was hardly no entertainment to speak of, time was like an arid desert that had to be endured on a daily basis. Except for the Tatas and the Birlas everyone else was poor and hard up for money. Even management trainees from premier institutes would live in dingy flats and get salaries of Rs2000 per month. Thanks be to god that those socialist days are behind us for ever.

The book is a crash course on Indians. While not making any tall claims about consumer insights, the book presents a construct of what makes an Indian. Right from analysing Indian cinema to our love for food to the famous Indian traffic, the book seeks out to cover everything that contributes to the idea called India. The chapters are pleasantly short, ensuring there is no drag on any particular aspect. The book flows freely and shares, goodhumouredly, all that can be called Indian. A reinforcement for those Indian by heart, a detailed guide for those trying to understand India, this book has something for everyone to relish.

This is one wholesome book that accurately describes the middle class Indian social and cultural milieu prior to the 90s. If you were born before the 90s this book will make you grin and give you a "feel good" nostalgia just re-living the 'good old days' through the author's words!! Santosh Desai, should've got far more credit for this brilliant piece of work. He vividly and humorously describes the quirks, simple joys and trials of those times. If you were middle class, yet feel you lived a full and enriching childhood/ early adulthood and would love to return to that time and place, at least for a while in your mind...pleeeeeeeeeease read this and be prepared to giggle and laugh at the simplicity and genuineness of the people and times despite hardships and low technology that barely assisted our daily living!!!

It's the fourth copy I've bought. Two for myself - I lent one and bought one to replace it. And I bought two more to gift friends. Highly recommended read for anyone 20-70 - or older! Enjoyable by every reader.I love the short essay format. There is no need for continuity. You can pick it up and read 1 essay at a time or marathon it, as you please. Caters very well to busy lives and shorter attention spans.Tickles the brain, lends a perspective unthought of. LOVE IT.