The Surrendered Wife

I loved everything about this book and have read it 3 times since 2016. It really helped my marriage blossom more and bring peace to I and my husband. I'm always recommending it to friends and family

The book is well written and easy to read. The advice she gives SHOULD be common sense in how to treat someone you love, but it doesn't pan out that way in the real world so it is a great reminder.I don't personally find it in any way insulting to think of myself as surrendered. Relinquishing control of my husband is really just the bare basics in treating him like an adult. Being controlling is a very unhealthy part of any body's character, man or woman, but it is quite hard to see in your own behaviour. It is even harder to get rid of, but this book has a lot of excellent insight into why one is controlling in the first place and how to deal with it.Highly recommend this book.

I have given this 4/5 stars but my comments may make you wonder why I did. I want to assure you I think this is a fab book, and one that will have a tremendous impact on my life. However, it will be hard and I have a lot of self reflection to do. Much of this review will be based on my personal experience and emotions, which as you read you will see why the review may sound disparaging but I think the overall benefits of reading this book are well worth the high star rating and recommendation to others.Firstly, it is well written. I don't read much but I devoured this book within a few days. I found it easy to follow and it had the perfect balance of action, reasoning, then antidote to help me understand the damaging behaviours I enact and what I need to do better and why.However, I found it made huge assumptions about all men and women. There seemed to be no allowance for deviation and made me feel like anyone could have a happy marriage. It didn't mention other reasons for break down such as incompatible visions of the future (e.g. one of you wants kids, the other doesn't. Sometimes "I can't" means the relationship is doomed).It also assumes you actually married a loyal, dependable, capable, and hard-working man. Well... some of us didn't.This book is for traditional households. Mine was not.I married a man who I wanted to be the house-husband. That was our agreed vision but over time we both realised this wasn't making us happy but he didn't make any effort to get a career to allow us to swap roles. In the end he decided he didn't want children at all, and we parted ways.So, I read this book after my marriage had already collapsed and it made me feel incredibly guilty. It made me feel like the break down was my fault. I identified with all the negative behaviours. Perhaps if I was more supportive my husband would have gotten off his lazy behind and sorted himself out. But I never found him to be dependable, capable, or hard-working. But I didn't need him to be because I was taking care of the house.The result was a lot of emotional turmoil for me and a whole host of negative emotions. I am looking at my past as a learning experience of what not to do and I have a lot to change within myself. I am very grateful for this book regardless of the rollercoaster of questioning my every action that doomed my marriage.Feedback I would give the writer would be to excluding the chapter about God. I skimmed this chapter as I didn't feel it was relevant and actually did a lot of damage for anyone who doesn't not identify as a Christian. It maybe wiser to integrate hints of the benefits of submitting to a higher power throughout the book without references to any specific God, and also push suggestions of using spiritual networks for support if you are in those circles but ensure those who aren't are not left feeling that chapter was not for them.I would also have loved a summary chapter at the end that provided an overarching list of actions in a quick reference guide, such as phases suggested throughout the book to use. I will have to make my own but it would have been handy in the book, and maybe as a downloadable resources from the website as a 'quick glance' guide for those who have read the book.But overall I feel this book will have a huge positive impact on my life. I have a lot of changes to make within myself to be right woman to attract the kind of man I wish to be with in the future. To start with, I actually need some female friends. And to start communicating using my emotions instead of my logical thinking brain. Two things I am going to find challenging, but then if it wasn't hard what is the point in doing it?!

I wrote a review but now I have to edit it. Firstly I really admire Laura. The title of her book is risky. A bit misleading because it suggests to the untrained eye, subservience. There have been 1 star accusations of training to be a 'gold digger' (perish the thought that a woman could possibly use a man - men wouldn't never do that with sex or money with women right? Unheard of!) I digress.This is really the kind of hard to swallow advice you might get from a beloved traditionally long married Aunty. Here we are living in the modern world with the world at our feet. Why are our husbands so very hard to get along with? Well because we have inherited such huge generational changes in terms of the opportunities and role of women in the world (especially first world countries) but for me? Not much has changed. The unwritten script men follow is by and large the same as it has always been. Ours have had constant re-writes.Laura's book is about restoring respect for ones partner not implementing subservience. She definitely is not about trickery either. Sometimes social media encourages us to say it like it is or to fight with our husbands. "I'm not taking that!" "He is NOT going to tell me what to do". This kind of thing but it's the way we say it that if our husbands spoke to us the same way we'd be mightily offended. Plus there is the notion we are entitled to take our controlling ways out on our other halves. She doesn't suggest you work through this book together. Phew! Most husbands would laugh or run a mile. Or the changes would seem contrived. We can only change ourselves. It's also about taking care of ones self and releasing the guilt of that. You can swallow this book any way you like but read it carefully. She is stating what's works. She says stay away from abusive relationships. this is unworkable. But husbands who can act like rude donkeys or are acting in a way that you butt heads metaphorically can be salvaged.It's about holding your tongue when there is no need to control. When it really isn't your Business. It's about peace in your home. Having confidence in yourself again. Knowing your limits of influence over another grown educated adult.It's about reducing conflict for the sake of your children and as far as I know Laura doesn't have children but it doesn't make her any less qualified. But we all know having children is a massive game changer.The one thing I disagree with is to surrender financial responsibilities to your husband. If you want to do shared finances ok. If your husband is initially controlling in this aspect then bear this in mind but every woman needs her own financial back up. A flee fund as it's called! Work towards at least 6 months rent. A figure to make you feel secure. Your husband could not leave you anything or if you are married to a traditional man from a different culture then there could be a host of female family dependents eager to kick you and your children to the kerb the minute anything happened to him. With no guilt.Keeo some money tucked away. But apart from that. Read this supposedly light toned book DEEPLY because it will make your head spin. Your friends will not respect you for it and there is a good chance you will be sneered at. But they won't know why your marriage is starting to work again and they are stubbornly stuck in misery. Thank you Laura.

I would recommend this book to every married woman!!So practical. Easy to follow and grasp!This is my third time reading the book!!

Not finished the book yet but it’s a great read

Must read who are married or about to marry❤️❤️

I never write reviews, but I feel called to write one for this book. I almost didn’t read it because of all the horrible reviews this book got, but I’m glad and thankful that I did. I will explain why. I am 26 years old and not married (I do have a relationship), but I find the message, stories and inspiration in this book to be enlightening. Sure, the title is misleading and in my opinion badly chosen because you don’t need to be a wife to find yourself dealing with relationship issues, the same as married couples do. I also had to ignore the language in the book that is meant for wifes and married couple, which is a shame because the core message in this book could be so helpful for lots of unmarried women. I guess that’s why I’m writing this review, to speak to anyone feeling triggered by the somewhat outdated form of language used. I also felt triggered at first, but since I know feeling triggered is saying something about me and not necessarily about the subject, I gave it a shot. I’m really happy that I did. It felt like a very loving and understanding book and I see surrendering now as a form of being conscious and loving, of letting your partner be himself, about freedom and most of all, trust. I don’t understand how surrendering couldn’t be a part of feminism, since it’s mostly about respect and trust and honestly, that’s just common sense and being a decent human being to the ones we love most. This book will teach you how to be just that.

Really good advice that I'll do my best to apply. The book is beautifully written with examples and quotes and was a pleasure to read

Perfeito para as controladoras. Este livro guia do A ao Z, com exemplos práticos e explicações sinceras tudo o que fazer para alcançar a intimidade no casamento. O melhor livro nesta área.