Real Vampires Know Size Matters Paperback – December 3, 2013

I loved this book. It took awhile for Glory to realize that she is not responsible for everyone when they are in trouble, but she does try to help if she can. Love that she got her singing voice back and realized when she wants to focus on in regards to her career. I think that even though she is no longer a siren she still has the passion of one which makes it harder for her to commit to one man but in the end love triumphs and she can finally give her heart to the man she loves with her whole heart. I see her mother pushing her in certain directions but so far she seems to be only egging her on to use the strength she already has and hasn't really taped into, though with Hebe you never know what she is really up too. Can't wait for the next book!

I love this series and all the characters. This book however did not quire meet my expectations for a 5 star. This book seemed a little rushed and not filled with as much humor. I love Gerry Bartlett and I am looking forward to the continued Glory experiences.

Every time I read one of the books in the Real Vampires series I think there is no way they can get better, and each time Gerry proves me wrong. With each book in the series Gerry pulls me in further and further to Glory's world and I feel like a part of it. I feel like I'm one of her crazy friends along for her next adventure. I can't wait to read the next addition to the series which I'm sure will be just as delightful as the rest and if the course holds true it will be even better!!

I've enjoyed this series for the most part, and usually find them light-hearted and amusing. Gloriana St. Clair (Glory) is a likeable misfit who struggles to find her path in the world and blunders her well-meaning way through entertaining, albeit rather formulaic, adventures.However, this latest book, "Real Vampires Know Size Matters," is my last Gloriana St. Clair story. Here's why: nothing ever changes. It's difficult to read a story where you think the heroine is finally going to grow up and change and come to terms with herself, and then she just DOESN'T. You see, although she's lived as a vampire for four centuries, Glory is still a sweet, soft-hearted doormat. BUT (((SPOILER COMMENTS))) I literally almost quit reading within the first chapter when this powerful, supernatural creature jumps up on the counter and screams because she saw a mouse. Okay, it was several mice, but who is she, Lucy Ricardo? Then she becomes nauseated because a cat shifter eats them, girl, really? You drink blood. You've killed people, sometimes violently! Honestly!And that's the problem. You'd think after say, a hundred years, a person would have come to terms with certain realities. She'd know her strengths, weaknesses, her value and worth. Not so with Glory. Despite FOUR hundred years of un-life, she's still ridiculously obsessed with her body type and even more ridiculously hurt by people trying to put her down for it. But I can't feel bad for her, because she makes the same shallow observations about every other woman she encounters. She notes what they're wearing, how old they look, how much weight they have to lose, or how skinny and fabulous they are.It's become very tiresome. No matter how many men fall in lust/love with Glory (and they ALL do while constantly telling her how beautiful she is), there's still this stupid, underlying refrain that she was fat when she was turned and it's this eternal source of anguish for her. Dang. Get over it already! Move on!In keeping with the main character's lack of development, this story turned out to closely follow the established formula of earlier plotlines, i.e., Glory tries to help someone out who's then ungrateful and mean to her, Glory is the target of some evil supernatural-type (in this case a voodoo priestess), Glory has man troubles and is jealous and insecure, Glory comes up with some goofy, haphazard plan to deal with everything, Glory spends time shopping with her friends, then someone or several someones come along to help save her and success! The end.This time around, though, I found myself wondering if Glory was not just sweet and naive but actually slow-witted and/or otherwise mentally impaired. (((ANOTHER SPOILER-ISH COMMENT)): Because, if you were a centuries-old immortal who could fly, was strong, eternally young and beautiful, and could turn into a freaking humongous awesome dragon, would YOU be worried about little things like people not liking you? *I* wouldn't! I can't even tell you the numbers of rats' behinds I *wouldn't* give for what people thought about me and whatever I chose to do.And I sure as hell wouldn't leap up on a chair and scream if I saw a mouse.Is this what the author really thinks of women? We're just weak, shallow, vapid, brainless and self-absorbed ninnies who need men to sort out our problems and protect us while we shop for expensive shoes and clothes? Well, it's not cute. Not funny. Not charming.And not a heroine I want to read anymore about.P.S. Those sex scenes. Please. No. Just stop it. They're awful. Either say what they're doing without cute euphemisms or leave it out. Ugh.

And of course Gerry does it again in this installment in the adventures of Glory! I just can't get enough of Glory, Blade, Valdez, Flo, and all the others! And the ending!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! I need the next book like now!!!! This book definitely did not disappoint and glory of course had lots of crazy things going on but what I really liked was watching her get through the obstacles thrown in her path and seeing how she has grown throughout the series.

I have read every one of Gerry Bartlett's Real Vampire books and have loved every one of them. This installment is just as good as the rest! The interplay between all the characters, the ongoing storyline, the hilarity throughout and the fact that, no matter how many men love Glory, she's still constantly worried about the size of her butt is consistently fascinating and makes her so real, you never want to stop reading!

Gerry Bartlett has written another great Real Vampires story. This one involves a voodoo priestess who has the hots for Jerry and wants Glory out of the way. So the story goes. She mentors a new Vampire, Sienna. New adventures with Aggie. Of course the stories with Glory's mom. Reading this books makes waiting for the next installment hard.

From the first Real Vampires book I was hooked. Gerry Bartlett is a fantastic writer and, I can promise you, you won't be disappointed. Her characters are compelling and funny, and so believable you feel as though you are a part of her fantasy world. Great books to help you escape from the humdrum of reality.

I have the series of Real Vampires and they're funny and very well written.