Supernormal: The Untold Story of Adversity and Resilience Hardcover – November 14, 2017

I am "Supernormal". I picked up this book after reading "The Defining Decade". The stories that were portrayed here are valid and beautifully and compassionately written. I love how research is intertwined with the story-telling. I saw myself in these stories and related to the neglect, abandonment, and abuse I experienced growing up. Currently, I am trying to put the word out there at my technology workplace and start a book club on it. People have begun to get on board since these discussions need to happen to foster and level the playing field. To anyone else who feels compelled to tell their stories, please do. The book mentions the theme of "Don't ask" and "Don't Tell". This cycle of back-and-forth does not foster any improvement and we remain at status-quo.I am so glad that Dr. Meg Jay thoughtfully put the efforts out there to publish and understand adults like me with adverse backgrounds. With all everything we have to deal with, at least for me, I just would not have the bandwidth out there to write a book about everything I been through. If anyone who is like me and wants to be a better manager, friend, companion, parent, leader, or anything, please read this book. People should be able to be more open about these experiences since we do not have the option to pick and choose our families, mental illness, and where we live. We are handed these cards and make the best of what we can. This book is very insightful and helps crack the window with having these discussions. Definitely appreciate that this exists out there. And I am grateful to be bringing senior leaders on board with me to have this heartfelt discussions and hear my personal story while I go through this book with them.

When you are a kid, it’s hard to understand what is normal. One moment I thought everything my family did was normal and everyone else was different. Then I became a teenager and I began to think everything my family did was weird and everyone else was normal. Later, in college, I began to understand that ‘normal’ is totally subjective and families are unique.However, I soon learned that I grew up privileged. My family did not have a nice house and we had never had new cars, but I did have safety, stability, and love. I never worried where my next meal was. I never feared that my dad or mom wouldn’t show up. And despite my teenage angst, I always knew they were there for me.Safety, stability, and love are not certainties in life. Many children grow up drenched in fear. They fear a sibling will assault them. They don’t know if a parent is coming home sober, drunk, or not at all. They worry if there will be enough money for food tomorrow. I have never had these fears, and I am very grateful.My biggest fear now is not being the best husband and father I can be. If you read this book, you will be distraught. If you are like me, you will shake your head in disgust wondering how anyone could survive such a horrible childhood, let one thrive into adulthood.I picked up this book because I enjoyed Jay’s previous. I appreciate her mix of intellect and emotions. She is very smart and very personable. I don’t know who I would recommend this book to, I guess anyone interested in child development.All in all, this a great read.

Supernormal is a breath of fresh air in a climate of "trauma informed" literature that too frequently predisposes individuals who have experienced painful life events to a life of physical and mental illness. ACEs, if not presented in a balanced way with foresight and mitigating information, can boil down to a hex of sorts, predisposing or scripting individuals to a life of suffering. Meg Jay points out that what it is most salient about adverse events is not any inherently damaging powers affixed to traumatic events themselves, but the suggestive beliefs we hold about them. How we interpret and respond to painful circumstances holds the key to thriving, not just mathematical formulations. Further, she thoughtfully asserts there is no such thing as "child sexual abuse syndrome;" life just isn't that automatic, and one size doesn't fit all. Each of us has individual strengths that can be tapped to foster positive outcomes. The author, like psychologist Virginia Satir, implies that hopeful messages -- born of research -- can threaten many people who prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty. It may be a challenging message to digest, but if the reader can get past our cultural programming, victims of horrific events can not just bounce back, but may bounce forward. I highly recommend this book to both professional and lay readers. It is written in a way that makes this important message palatable.

Meg Jay, PhD brilliantly shines a light on the secret world of the family hero, those who’ve survived childhood trauma, persevered years of chronic stress and silent suffering, yet thrived beyond what anyone thought possible, even the researchers. Through shear determination and grit learned from early trauma, Dr. Jay illustrates through actual patient stories how “SuperNormals” come out on the other side stronger, wiser and more resilient driving them to excellence in whatever they aspire to achieve.The book is not only validating and inspiring, but it left me awestruck and empowered by my own “surthrivership,” as I read every chapter through the blur of tears recalling my own Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). Through Dr. Jay's therapeutic genius, SuperNormal gives you hope for the future, a new perspective for looking at your life with gratitude and pride versus grief and loss. It offers a whole new way of looking at yourself and a positive way forward. An absolute must read for all super heroes!

This book is not about the ones whose childhood traumas make headlines and let readers shake their heads in horror and disbelief. It is about the childhood adversities that too many of us had to overcome while no one has noticed. And the huge impact and cost attached to it. I love this book for its calm tone and the dignity it gives to the stories of the supernormals it talks about. And how it ends with hope, that there is healing through love. Very well written, powerful and life affirming.

Out of the books I've read, this one is probably the most important to me. I have recommended it to so many people already.

I was pleased to receive my book well before time & in a prime condition. Since such books are rarely available with other stores, the sale price was very reasonable. Their entire process can be a good example for other booksellers.

Ich habe eine Interview der Autorin im Spiegel gelesen und fand die Perspektive auf die Resilienz sehr spannend und treffend. Deshalb hab ich das Buch gekauft und bin begeistert. Es liest sich (auf Englisch) sehr gut und klingt sehr einleuchtend. Jeder der sich mit Resilienz beschäftigt, sollte auch dieses Buch lesen.

The book explains about how children find ways to cope with damaging events in childhood. Recognizable traits for so many people.