How to Leave the Mormon Church: An Exmormon’s Guide to Rebuilding After Religion Paperback – January 7, 2024

Alyssa has written a fantastic comprehensive guide with plenty of suggestions for those who have already decided to leave the Mormon church. This is a great guide that combines personal stories with an objective view of changing perspectives for your whole life. It is not a critque of Mormon theology but helps those who have already decided to leave for various reasons. The author is quite respectful of other people's beliefs and experiences, but recognizes the practical reality of changing religions. She offers suggestions on how to handle various personal issues, such as telling (or not telling) your family and friends about your decision. It is quite an engaging book that is very practical and helpful. Highly recommended.

This book is perfect for someone who recently left the Mormon church. I ceased my belief 18 years ago so the book had low utility for me, but that being said the book made me think and consider how open I am about my atheism.I do have some ideas for improvement and criticisms about the book. In one section she talks about establishing boundaries in regards to sexual activity. She talks about sticking to your boundaries in a way that is uncritical of the why behind those boundaries. Almost as if the boundaries are he new dogma in regards to sex. I think this section could be fixed by just mentioning something about being critical of your boundaries. I have had many sexual experiences that I enjoyed that would have never happened if I just stuck to some boundaries I made up while first experimenting with sex.Another portion that I think could have used some help is the part discussing gender roles in the church. I have a Bachelor of Science in Women & Gender Studies and it is obvious that the author is lacking in feminist theory. When the author recognized her shortcomings on discussing issues of sexuality she brought in stories about queer people. I feel like bringing in someone who has a better grasp on feminist theory could have really enhanced the section that talked about gender roles in the church.The last major suggestion that I have would be to include several sections in the begining on common criticisms of the church. Something like your own CES letter. When I lost my faith I lost it by losing my belief in the Bible. I reasoned that if the Bible is not the word of some God then the foundation that the Mormon church is built on is not true therefore the church is not true. It would have been nice to have common criticisms of the church laid out for me to solidify my position lacking belief in the church. I feel like a guide on leaving the church should have a compilation of these criticisms. I was really disappointed when I read the book and it didn't have any of this. The book is relatively short, you could have easily added 100-150 pages on those topics and you still would have been left with an average length book. Just to give you an example from my experience, I am only just now reading the CES letter after having read your book. This is my first time being exposed to much of this information that I could have used 18 years ago when I first came out as atheist. That is why I would hope a guide on how to leave the church would have this information. It definitely would have made the book more useful as to where I'm at now and also where I was 18 years ago.I don't want anyone to take these criticisms the wrong way. I still happily give this book 5 starts for it's utility to anyone who has just left the church. Keep it around and pass it along when given the opportunity.

Very interesting look into the reality of this religion. Bought this for a cousin who has shared with other family members. It addresses the feelings a person experiences when they make the break and how to deal with them and outside pressures from others. Very in depth and first hand experience of the author. Highly recommend for those who are considering the move. I have also watched the author on U tube which led me to purchase this for her as she was having so many questions and seeking advise.

Ive only read 4 chapters and I love it. I left the church years ago and yet every part I've read so far has impacted me. This book has great coping skills, information, and other aspects that you may not consider. Alyssa is an incredible writer and she puts all of my thoughts and worries onto paper. This book made me feel not so alone. I watch Alyssa on tik tok frequently and I was so excited about her releasing a book. I knew she would be able to describe everything that I was feeling and put it into a book. She goes over info very well. I plan on giving this to some of my family that has left the church and those who are questioning. I feel like this book will be able to help them in their journey of leaving the church or better help them make their decision. This book gives advise on how to tell your family you are leaving, how to actually leave the church physically, how to navigate this tiring and confusing process. I wish I had this when I first started questioning. This would have definitely helped me even more. Alyssa, thank you for writing this. You have impacted thousands of questioning and leaving people. Thank you.

So well written and so clear on how to free yourself from insidious entanglements in your brain/heart. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is interested in learning how to live your most pure self and not just to people leaving the Mormon church.

How does one live after losing their faith? I had no idea. When it all came crashing down my life felt like a black hole and a blank canvas all at the same time. Thrilling and terrifying. I wish I had a book like this then because the only story I had been told of people leaving the church was one of divorce, addiction, suffering and death. Searching "how to leave the Mormon church" only told me how to remove my records, this book tells you the rest--as much as it can, but also provides great journaling prompts so YOU can tell you what your life can be. For those in the midst of the "dark night of the soul" this book is a thoughtfully-written, much needed look of what a life post-mormon can look like: safe, connected, confident.

Alyssa, THANK YOU for pouring your heart and soul into this book. I find your stories so similar to my own experiences in mormonism. I've been waiting for my appt with my new therapist to talk about faith deconstruction, and I felt I couldn't wait any longer without support. I purchased your book hoping it would fill my time and buoy me up until I can talk with a professional in therapy. There is so much in this book that is so deeply meaningful and helpful to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The way you so honestly speak of your experiences and thoughts is beautiful. The exmormon community needed this desperately.

Great read

This was my first book about Mormonism and it inspired me to read even more! I know Alyssa from Tiktok and always was weirdly intrigued by her stories. “Weirdly” because I am a a german always-atheist and couldn’t relate less to this book. Or so I thought, cause here I am and I loved reading it!I’ve always been fascinated with the psychology of religion- the struggles show so much about human psychology, how and where we seek shelter, community, moral and dependence.This book is such a personal, almost diary like, insight on how religion ended up directing a young woman’s life, and her journey to believing in herself and working on herself in a way that liberates and not eradicates all sense of individuality- of yourself.Nihilism and “the purpose of it all”, I believe, everyone experiences at some point in life. That also goes for me as an atheist. This is not a self-help book but it sure brought me new perspectives. What i hadn’t consider before is this path from religion, in this case Mormonism, to atheism: The path from a predetermined, somewhat happy ending, to this scary path of the unknown. And I think Alyssa Grenfell managed to explain this in such an open and personal way that perhaps unintentionally made me feel really safe, and not alone.I think anyone struggeling in life and is interested in religion can benefit from this book! Her few pages dedicated to “first times” are so entertaining and even if i ‘know how to drink coffee’ it’s enjoyable to see her full circle progress!PS: She does talk about substance use but i if you think that’s so problematic, i believe you didn’t understand the purpose of this book. Besides she gave clear disclaimers so read carefully.