A Complicated Kindness Paperback – 2 July 2015

A Complicated Kindness is a coming-of-age story set in a Canadian Mennonite community, a reclusive and devout Christian sect that's similar in its ways to the more familiar Amish, much to the fascination of the visiting tourists. Mennonites reject the modern world and all its temptations, instead living like 18th century farmers. But with TVs. Sometimes. The town's main industry is the chicken slaughter place and the town's youth look forward to illustrious careers slaughtering chickens before being called up to Heaven in the rapture.The novel is narrated by 16 year old Nomi in a wry, deadpan style that's very endearing and often funny, in a bittersweet kind of way. She definitely has a sharp sense of the comedic tragedy of her life- musing on the bemused-looking mural of Jesus on the high street, why did their religious founder Menno Simons name his following after his first name? Why does he love damnation so much but isn't bothered about explanation? How is moving one's body to music a sin? Nomi's mother and sister have both left the family, separately and suddenly- but probably for the same reasons. Nomi recalls them in chunks, their reasons for their departures become more and more clear, and sadly inevitable as she offers her memories up to the reader. Her missing family haunt her, but Nomi's father is unable to give up the religion that he loves and that has formed him and Nomi finds herself unable to give up on her father. She is trying her hardest to hold everything together in a ramshackle house by the highway that is falling apart, and with a father with increasingly erratic behaviour. Though previously a devout believer and follower of her religion, Nomi is just beginning to question the lifestyle she has been brought up in in a traditional rebellious angsty teen style.She and her band of disillusioned teen exiles spend their weekends dressing up as pioneers and churning butter in the mocked-up 'Ye Olden Times' dioramas for tourists, then drive around in pickup trucks, smoking dope, listening to Lou Reed and reading hipster novels and beat poetry. In many ways she's very much an ordinary teenager- boys, music her parents disapprove of, barely noticeable acts of rebellion. Nomi declares her survival strategy to be using “drugs and my imagination”- her greatest weapons against a town and a religion so desperate to get a foot in the door of Heaven that they forget completely to live.I really liked Nomi as a character- she was kidding herself about ever leaving, and she knew that but she lied to herself anyway was a way to cope. She's smart, honest and naturally inquiring, all the things that hardcore religious communities seek to crush, and it's painful to watch her struggle to understand that and then to force herself to live with it. I loved the pitiful but loving relationship she had with her father too, the bond and the burden. They didn't speak much, but understood one another entirely, even if the motives and attitudes were completely different. The scene where she helps him clean up the rubbish at the dump is heartbreaking- this religion seems to have crushed them both.Though it's not a particularly plot heavy book, it's a fascinating character study of Nomi and her religion, which will be pretty alien to UK readers. It's beautifully written with a mastery of language and image that I haven't seen in a long time. As it's not driven by action, the characters and their lives have to be compelling, as Nomi was a truly arresting narrator. It's a fast and engrossing read all about self-discovery and betrayal, family and escape.

A remarkable book about a young girl growing up in a repressive, deeply insular, religious community. Nomi, the main character is a wonderful creation, viewing her strange world and vanishing family with affection, savage anger and wry humour as she grows up and learns how deeply she has been betrayed and how completely abandoned. All the characters are brilliantly drawn, with absolutely no wasted words, through Nomi's acute and critical observations.I thought it was not so much a coming of age story as a one about the ways in which young people change on the way, described without sentimentality or melodrama, just lovely, subtle, understated truth. And though the weird community have profound effects on Nomi's development, the sorrows and joys and setbacks that she experiences, are universal.It's a very truthful book, neither sparing or condemning the community or Nomi's family - not even Nomi herself and in the end we are left understanding that only Nomi can help herself.

Maybe because I read it on my Kindle but for whatever reason I didn't quite get into it. It is a detailed description of family life but only from one point of view - some memorable scenes but somehow I didn't get a real sense of the characters apart from the narrator. It's probably quite unfair of me to write this review as I can hardly remember it. 'my mom ' said 'I envy that dog its freedom and obliviousness ' but we never quite know why she feels like that and what happened to her. I bought this while I was waiting for Toews' next book All My Puny Sorrows which is brilliant - luckily this one didn't put me off. Toews is a fantastic writer but this one wasn't for me.

This book has completely taken me in. I entered the world of the protagonist and never let go until the end. A sad, yet hopeful story that is richly woven.

My Canadian partner recommended I read this book to help me understand where she came from and the damage done...

I enjoyed this book so much I bought copies for my family and friends. They didn't find it as humorous as i did but the story of a teenage girl growing up in a strict religious community is interesting. Here's a quote where the teenager surmises "so it's wrong to move parts of your body in time to music but it's ok to penetrate members of one's extended family- everyone's related."

One of those very well written, intensely first person perspective books that takes you inside the head of a teenager in a troubled family in a fiercely religious small town. Funny at times but mostly a deeply atmospheric read

A beautiful glimpse into a teenage girl's heart and life. Although the setting is a small Mennonite town it could be any small town anywhere. Lovely writing and fabulous story telling.

If you are planning to spend time reading this or money buying this voluntarily (as opposed to being forced to buy and read this to pass grade 12), there are way better ways to spend time and money.This book is the epitome of drivel. It glorifies the state of being perpetually drugged up. It is not about kindness. There is nothing complicated in it. It is a messed up text about messed up people. This is about it. Forcing 12-graders to read it and write essays about it is ultimate cruelty which Canadian school system prides itself in.

This story delves into the complications of living as a morally conflicted Mennonite. Living in an area with a large Mennonite community, I feel as though I learned from this novel and acquired some new perspectives. The characters are worthy of investment and the narrator is unique and quirky in a way that the novel presents itself in controlled rambling. This novel is for readers who can live without functional - including functional quotation marks.

Nomi lebt mit ihrem Vater in einer Mennonitengemeinde in der kanadischen Provinz. Eine Gemeinschaft, in der jeder jeden kennt, gerne in die nicht allzu weit entfernte Verwandtschaft eingeheiratet wird und der örtliche Schlachthof die einzige berufliche Perspektive bietet. In der alles Moderne argwöhnisch beäugt wird, strenge religiöse Regeln herrschen und so ziemlich alles verboten ist, was Spaß macht. Kein Wunder, dass ihre aufmüpfige ältere Schwester und ihre lebenslustige Mutter schon vor Jahren davongelaufen sind. Und auch Nomi träumt von einem Leben in der Großstadt...Miriam Toews ist selbst in einer Mennonitengemeinde aufgewachsen und verarbeitet in diesem Roman Erinnerungen an ihre Kindheit und Jugend. Über Mennoniten wusste ich bisher recht wenig, und die Thematik hat mich so interessiert, dass ich parallel zu der Buchlektüre noch ein bisschen im Internet darüber recherchiert habe. Ich war ziemlich überrascht, dass diese Religionsgemeinschaft durchaus auch hier in Deutschland vertreten ist. Die Bilder, die traditionelle Mennoniten zeigen, haben mich ein wenig an die Amish People erinnert (lange Röcke, Hüte, Pferdekutschen usw.).Das Buch ist gut geschrieben, und dank der (für mich) neuen Thematik habe ich die erste Hälfte des Romans mit großem Interesse und sehr gern gelesen. Besonders Nomis Erzählungen über ihre Mutter Trudie und deren humorvoll-rebellische Haltung gegenüber der Kirchengemeinde haben mir gut gefallen. Leider hat sich in der zweiten Hälfte etwas Langeweile eingeschlichen. Das, was Nomi an ihrem Leben am meisten beklagt - Ereignislosigkeit und Eintönigkeit - macht sich auch irgendwann in der Geschichte breit. Die zweite Hälfte habe ich deshalb als recht zäh empfunden, und ich war ganz froh, dass das Buch ziemlich dünn ist.Insgesamt ein guter Einblick in das Leben der Mennoniten, der phasenweise auch recht unterhaltsam ist.

This novel is autobiographical and relates the narrator's growing up in a Mennonite community in Canada. Because I loved Toews' novel The Flying Troutmans and since I'm very interested in the psychology of living with strict religion, I bought this novel.It illustrates well the closed off world which the characters inhabit and the longing of the young (as well as the not so young) to break away from it. The relationships and their difficulties are drawn with care and tenderness.I found the book interesting, but all in all too long and not as touching as The Flying Troutmans. It was no page turner for me but I did not have a hard time finishing it either.Recommended if you are interested in religious sects and fundamentalism, also a great reminder of what it's like to be an adolescent.

Toews, once she lures you in, has complete control of your emotions. Simply one of the best writers Canada has produced.

This is an engaging story, portraying the tedium of dissolving family life and alienation from the theocracy and social structure of a small Mennonite community.

This was an interesting read, very different subject matter from the norm, about a teenager girl and her family in a Mennonite community and what happens to them.

Needed this book for an English course.

A beautiful book written with such emotional intelligence and detail. I cannot recommend this book highly enough and I know I will read it again and again. Looking forward to discovering more from this incredible author.

Loved the first 3/4 of this well written book. Enjoyed the way it was constructed and the voice of the heroine. Sadly I thought that the end was somehow rushed and left me disappointed and hanging in an unfinished dangling.

This book was not what I expected. I did enjoy it but would have liked a bit more character development as I found it hard to empathise with anyone. They were all a bit thinly written. Would still recommend it though.

I thought this book was good. It was entertaining, and yet the feel of it was kind of depressing. Entertaining with the dark humour, (too dark for my tastes), as well as the shockingly accurate depictions of small town life, truly eerie!

As expected and arrived in good time - thx

I read this novel and enjoyed it so much I bought it for a well-read friend.

Of youth or man. Such a sad but compelling tale. I thought being Anglican was tough. It's 50 shades of how others want to run your life. Well done