Hidden Spring: A Buddhist Woman Confronts Cancer

I’ve had this book for years and in a press to get to all the books I’ve been meaning to read, I finally have read it. I’m not sure what drew me to it years ago, a book review, another author. Regardless.I’ve read here and there on Buddhism and it reminds me of the need to be present in whatever you do. Seems a bit like the mindfulness movement of late and the author’s musing on her practice supports this.Essentially this is a story of a point in time in the author’s life. She has attended a number of Buddist retreats and has been practicing for sometime. She is not a young person and has lived her life through some changes and her Buddist practice is a part of some of these changes. She is divorced and is now living with a same sex partner. That is pertinent to the story as she is later in her life and examining her relationships and the part she plays in them.Due to some recurring health issues she pursues a diagnosis and discovers she has cancer. This is the story of her dealing with her cancer, relationship and Buddist practice at that time.As I’m older than the author at the time she wrote this, I had a different take on her relationship than she did at that time. She deduced that her relationship was failing prior to her diagnoses. What I think she had missed is that her partner was a more passive type than her and for her the relationship was in fact already over and I think that played a part in how her partner reacted. It is possible her partner felt trapped and tethered to not only someone she no longer was in love with, but also someone who owed her a substantial amount of money, as well as someone that was going to demand even more of her, due to her illness. From the sounds of the timing she was also struggling with substantial work demands as well. I’m wondering if when she looks back, she feels she was fair in her assessment of her partner and her partner’s concerns.The author was lucky as she had a great support network, when she needed it, especially in the context of her relationship failing. . Few could draw on such a bank of people at that difficult of a time.Regarding her cancer. Clearly since she wrote this book, she survived. Her participation in the decisions over her care was typical of that timeframe. Back then, many doctors were still very patriarchal and told you what you needed to do. Her doctors seemed to engage her somewhat but her reticence over discussing the chemo duration, indicates that she felt to a large extent dictated to. Chemo is often seen as the penance. The penance for the sin of having cancer. When doctors prescribe a course of months/years of chemo but the patient's health is compromised to the point of significant loss of value before completing this, most patients feel that they have let the system down, if they don’t follow this to the letter. Sadly at best, this timeframe is an estimate and a more participating doctor/patient team would take this into consideration. This behavior is changing.This book made me think about a lot of things. Mostly being present for your life, the good the bad the boring. It was written at a time, where people didn’t have their nose buried in a phone. How much worse are people's attention on the now, with a cell phone in tow.

With only a slight knowledge of Buddhist principles,but with much experience working with people with cancer, I began this book with curiosity and trust. Trust because I came upon it at a Buddhist retreat a friend was checking out before attending a class in a few months. It was at the library and I couldn't leave without it for some reason. Now I know the reason. There is such grace in the journey Sandy began as she struggled to continue her practice under most difficult, even dire circumstances. I laughed, cried and finally understood at a deeper level than ever before how to truly "practice" Buddhism on a daily basis no matter what is happening in your life. I get it now, when no reading I'd done before ever truly connected except on a mental level for me. I'm grateful for Sandy for sharing this experience and I am humbled by her story.

'A Buddhist woman confronts cancer', reads the cover. True enough, but you needn't be female, Buddhist, nor suffering with cancer to recognise yourself in this book. Its power is in its ability to engage with human nature through one woman's experience.Sandy Boucher's Hidden Springs is easily the most involving thing I've read in recent memory. Her lucid prose carries you through a year of her life from the time she is diagnosed with Stage 3 bowel cancer; it covers chemotherapy, surgery, the minutiae of her daily life, and her spiritual practice in the grip of disease. It's heartbreaking, inspiring, funny, thought-provoking, and everything in-between. This isn't so much an account of a woman facing death; it's an account of life.Her spirituality is used not as a crutch to escape her ordeal but as a tool to dive straight into it. She relays such clarity and compassion from various spiritual teachers, most notably her own teacher Ruth Denison, but Sandy is not a master; she struggles, she questions, and sometimes she succeeds.The subject matter is brutal, but Sandy's style is such that you feel you are talking to a friend. I found myself flinching at times, but always compelled by her honesty.Early on Sandy quotes something that impacted her; no matter what comes your way, don't make a move to avoid it. Never does she turn away from what happens to her, but does her best to experience her life as it's happening and relay it to the reader, regardless of how awful or wonderful it may be. As a study of Buddhism in practice you couldn't hope for better. As a study of life, you couldn't ask for more. This is why I read.Read this book.