Backtalk: 4 Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids

I am both a mother and an elementary-school teacher in an American School overseas. I have been having trouble with backtalk for several years from both my daughter, and my kids at school.This book gives an informative, logical discussion of where this backtalk problem is coming from, and indicates that a lot of it has to do with the media. For example, the kinds of shows which were on TV when I was a kid were "Leave It to Beaver," in which the only backtalker was the juvenile delinquent Eddie Haskel! Compare that to today's sitcoms featuring constant backtalking between ALL characters. Other social reasons for the rise of backtalk are also discussed.I read this book and realized that I am always giving my daughter, and the kids at school, too many extra chances to behave. The books discusses a straightforward, yet respectful, strategy toward kids which teaches them to behave in a likewise respectful manner toward adults (the antithesis of what they are seeing on most TV programs).As an amusing side comment, my ten-year-old daughter saw this book and asked me what it said. She does not like to read. I told her that she was welcome to pick up the book and read for herself what it said, but other than that, she was just going to have to wait to find out when she backtalked to me (I said this to encourage her to read). She didn't read it, but told me that she was sure it said to punish kids more, and she immediately started to behave better!! It doesn't say that at ALL, however. It explains a calm and respectful way of TALKING to kids and MAKING and ENFORCING (non-physical) CONSEQUENCES that really works. I have already spoken in this manner to my daughter, and it really does work. It makes me FEEL BETTER as a parent, too, instead of screaming and shouting (and/or spanking) all the time! I can hardly wait for Christmas vacation to be over so I implement the suggestions in my third-grade classroom.If you are having trouble with backtalk, definitely buy this book. You can read the whole thing in about three hours. The discussions are straightforward, and practical. The authors are both Ph.D.'s who are also educators, and parents, as well. They themselves have struggled with backtalk both at home and at school, and are sharing their solutions with others. The book is really aimed at PARENTS, and dealing with backtalk in the HOME, but there is a short discussion on backtalk at school.The BEST thing about this book is that it is not just a theoretical discussion. Many sample conversations with children and adolescents are included, showing how they USUALLY go, and then rewritten, to show how they would most likely go, with the NEW parent responses included in the conversation. So when you finish the book, and think about the first conversation you are going to have with your child backtalking, when suddenly you can't remember what to say! So like me, you can quickly flip through the pages to the ones you've marked with the responses you want to remember, and have the line ready. I used the same line three times yesterday, and it worked like a charm.

now, this book works. It works for all ages. And it doesn't mean you can't listen to your kids, can't change your mind, can't be affectionate and flexible. Doesn't mean you can't allow them to grow and be responsible, and take chances. It just sets the ground rules for civility. My wife and I used it for years. Recently, my boys were just out of control. My wife had died, and I was just unable to control them. They were criticizing me, bickering, backtalking. I know they are embarrassed by me; no surprise there, but there was no cause for rudeness and cruelty. I sat them down and gave them the Backtalk lecture. This is your only warning. These will be the consequences. We've been there before. YOu know the rules. And it worked. They've been great since. Not perfect, not angels, but appropriately challenging and, well, enjoyable. I've handed this book to many fellow parents and it works.

I wasn't sure how much luck I'd have affecting the advise in this book into everyday life with my sassy 12 year old daughter. I just knew that what had been, for years, spunky and precocious banter from my witty and extremely intelligent 1st born, had morphed, seemingly overnight, into snappy, disrespectful sass from an ungrateful so-to-be teenager. I really was heartsick with this sudden change in her personality. I started applying the principles in this book before I was halfway through reading it and the results were amazing!! It's so basic, so simple but so appropriate. It just works. Two days, literally, of being consistent with it and I haven't had an ounce of backtalk in over a week. I know we'll be there again but I also know when we are, I'll have the tools and foresight to nip it in the bud! My daughter has been pleasant, smiling, accepting of the rules, etc. LOVE IT!!

What this book addresses is such a pervasive problem in modern parenting. Since the "self-esteem" movement, parents are afraid to discipline their children and be the adult in the relationship. We so often hear parents "negotiating" with their toddlers! Really? Who is the parent here? Or saying "Johnny, we're going to go now . . . ok?" Does it really matter if it's ok with Johnny or not. If not, don't ask. The constant banter and arguing that parents allow in their homes deteriorates the peace for parent and child. Children feel safer and more secure when parents assume their role as parent, set the boundaries and expectations and stick by it. Children are able to flourish and grow without all the extra stress and energy wasted in constantly testing the boundaries. If you love your child, don't let them talk back. Take the time to parent. This book will help you.

This book has so many helpful ways to communicate and discipline and understand your child when they are being difficult and rude. Reading this has helped me a lot.

...which can be used by parents and teachers.For me, there is nothing more annoying than back-talk and whining between kids and adults. It brings out the worst in me. So I read this book on what to do with a kid whom I have daily contact with who is disrespectful to his mother in front of me.

Wonderful and very helpful book. Easy to read and understand and follow. I read it in one day. We have a lot of back talk issues in our home and after only one day it has already made a small difference. There is hope! Looking forward to the good changes and peace in our home because I plan to stick to this plan.

It has been a few years since I used this, but I do remember that the techniques worked. I had it on a tape and would have liked to have the hard copy so I could refer back to it.

Great

I really enjoyed this book. It is very no-nonsense and gave great examples of how to deal with different situations. It is not for those parents who are wishy-washy and who don't really want to discipline their children. I found the scenrios great, and I liked the validation in the book for having rules and making your children follow them!Very glad I purchased.

For those who are young or new parents who are just finding out how rude and annoying their child's backtalk can be, then this book would be helpful - to a degree.Being a Grandmother to 4 grandchildren and 2 gt grandchildren and 3 children of my own, I found it to contain nothing that I had not already tried and was rather disappointed.I don't really know what I expected from the book but it certainly wasn't someone's laboured ramblings of experienced or fictional scenario's to make a point. Then give their opinion as to how to treat the offending child with suggestions, which the parent has probably already tried. Sorry, nothing new in this book and I woouoldn't particularly recommend it.