Valhalla (1) Paperback – February 13, 2014

The good ratings for this book stun me. I should probably stop reading things penned by the Tumblr-famous. It's been two strikes so far.I started out liking it. But that faded as I realized that despite some moments of excitement and drama, this book is overwhelmingly bland. The story is set hundreds of years into the future, with super advanced technology. But very little detail is given on this world or the people in it. I often found myself having not much of an idea what these places or people looked like. The main character, Violet, is a bit of a Mary Sue. The author makes a few attempts to rectify this, but they fall a bit flat. Violet can kick arse with ease even before training, she doesn't care what others think of her, and most of the time she's pretty darn smart despite the author's attempts to convince us otherwise. She's pretty OP, and before long she joins a group comprised of OP people. Where's the tension when a single person can mow through 30 men? When any injury can be healed within minutes and even a dead body can be brought back to life as long as the brain is kept intact?There were two things in particular that really pissed me off:1)Several times religion is brought up, and it is seemingly only brought up so that the author can get his/her opinion in there real quick when it was apparent that he/she didn't know much about religion in the first place. There is only one religious character and she is painted in a poor light. Normally this wouldn't be too much of a problem; authors can interject their own opinions. But if I consider your book mediocre at best and then I see you weaseling your opinions in there as well, it's gonna bug me. Also unless I recall incorrectly, Christianity is the only religion that's brought up and picked on.2) MINOR SPOILERS: There's a torture scene but through some science mumbo jumbo the character cannot feel pain. So the character has to fake it. And the character's idea of a convincing act is to wince and groan as their fingers are chopped off. I'm not a professional torturer or anything, but I think people do more than wince and grunt when their fingers are lobbed off. But this has everyone tricked. To add insult to injury, the main villain is a bit over the top normally and he's twice as bad during the torture. He actually eats part of her neck and shoulder. Come on dude.MINOR SPOILERS OVERHonestly, this book was just not that good. I enjoyed it slightly more than Ravensgem, but that's because the prose wasn't at the level of a 4th grader and I did crack a smile a few times (the author does run a humor blog after all). I wish I could give 2 1/2 stars, but since this book has such an outrageously high rating, I'm cutting it down to 2. The story was bland. The characters were bland. There was no tension. There were no details to engage my imagination. There was no character development to make me care about anyone. I didn't give a crap about what happened to anyone or anything. It took me over a month to slog through this. It truly felt like I was reading something out of a textbook. Or the Bible. I would not recommend this book to anyone. I rank it a few notches above Twilight because at least the prose is decent.Maybe I'll sell my copy on Amazon for a low price and include candy in the package to try and rectify my sin against whatever poor person buys it from me, to try and at least add some excitement. Or maybe I'll use the pages as kindling.Don't be deceived. Don't buy this book. But do follow the author's blog. It's more entertaining and funny than this book.

(I also posted this review verbatim on the final novel in this trilogy but I'd like more people to see what I think!)My god, what can I even say?I adore the way every single one of these novels was written. The unique and breathtaking way Ari weaves the story is just that: breathtaking. There were so many moments throughout each book where I was glued to the page, my heart racing and my mind running wild with the beautiful, gory imagery throughout. The author has an amazing talent for wrapping up every loose end as they make the reader wonder exactly when that loose end will be taken care of... as well as tying up loose ends you didn't even know existed! I will admit, there were a couple of moments through each book where I had to put my phone down for a minute to really absorb the sudden plot twist (and with one twist+hidden loose end I just had to yell into my pillow in absolute amazement! I've never done that before!!).Of course every single book is gory and violent and terrifying, but that somehow makes the adventure even better! I'm not one for violence in the least but the bloodbath(s) are incredible!All in all, this is one of the best series I have ever read, in one of the absolute all-time best universes I have ever had the pleasure to dip into! I highly recommend this to everyone!(Unless, of course, you aren't too fond of blood, guts, murder, and/or walruses...)

"You are OK just as you are. There is a place for you."That's the core of the story. Valhalla is quite the adventure, zooming around the planet for Violet's next challenge. What really pulled me in, though, was the warmth of Violet discovering her own home and her own people. Her people are deeply flawed but they're *her* people.The hard-SF fan in me would like to hear a lot more about the Tikari and some of the more exotic characters (and gadgets), but I didn't feel like it was missing. The fan of relationships wants to hear a lot more about some of the romances both past and future, but I'm not disappointed at all with what the author gave us. The fan of action scenes in me has no complaints at all.I'll close by giving this book my highest compliment for a "for fun" read: as soon as I finished, I turned back to page one and started reading it right through again. It was just as good the second time through even though I knew what was behind the curtains.

Pros:- Awesome worldbuilding that feels more realistic than dystopian- Protagonist does not have a special power or hidden past- No obnoxious romantic subplots- Very LGBT-friendly- Great characters and character development- Probably the best villain death ever written- Only three grammatical/spelling errors and one noticeable plot hole that I could find- You can tell it's written by someone intelligent- Frequently hilarious- WalrusesCons:- First and eleventh chapters feel less polished and do not read as smoothly- Writing occasionally switches to another character's view for a few sentences, which can be confusing- Lots of semi-obscure vocabulary (I had to pick up a dictionary once or twice)- Some names/terms are difficult to pronounce (a Norse pronunciation guide would be helpful)- Some scenes are difficult to visualize without a full explanation of the technology involved (e.g, vehicles)Other notes:- Over-the-top violence and technology that knows it's ridiculous- Has anti-religious themes- Includes a fair amount of swearing- Lots of references to metal bands and Norse mythology- Could definitely benefit from an accompanying guide to the world and technologyDefinitely recommended! Too bad I have to wait so long for the sequel.

Valhalla starts out as a slick, believable, deep sci-fi universe, then it takes a turn into a Heinlein-esque future "military", before Norse Mythology patches in with some Cyberpunk hyper-violence, all against a backdrop of wit, pop(and rock and metal)-culture references. And then the ride really gets going.It’s not perfect though, there are some points where character’s feel a bit flat and indistinguishable, and some of the emotions felt a little muted, although nothing so bad that I lost suspension of disbelief completely, the worst mistake may possibly be the final few scenes which would have been better opening a sequel. It feels a bit like those, read the start of the next book things, which I also hate, but in this case actually harmed the conclusion.That said, I want to read the sequel...

A refreshingly concise science fiction book, that doesn't get bogged down with details on it's entire universe, and focuses very much on, well violence. And manages to bring some really nice character development to the piece despite it's short length.I'm not saying that the book is overly violent, or that it's scenes containing violence are too graphic, actually to be honest, G. R. R. Martin is one hell of a lot more graphic.Although there is significant character development it only really happens to the two main characters. With a gigantic cast that barely even gets hinted at having a back story. Even the two males from the main character's team have little about them revealed but the backstory they get at the beginning of the book.The story is solid with a lot of potential for expansion.And being a book from a LGBT YA publisher (the same would go for any YA publisher), the romance is very subtly played, which was a colossal relief as the YA genre tends to hamfist all sorts of terrible relationship dynamics out.All in all It's a very solid first novel from Bach, but It is definitely that, A first novel. It has so many directions It could go from here.I would wholeheartedly recommend it, and hope that It's subsequent squeals will be worth the wait.

I adored this book. I'm usually fairly good at predicting what's coming, but I kept being surprised. Likely because I'm used to stories that go for the jugular and take the cheap shot, while this was an awe-inspiring romp worthy of norse legend, where things go wrong, but they don't see fit to wrench your heart out.

Nice trilogy

Very good book. Has the most accurate depiction of the future i have seen, even if you don't like scifi i would recommend it. Also walrus