Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences

I bought this book to learn a little more about virginity, as I am dealing with the issue with my 16 year old daughter. While I am open, and discuss things freely, I still thought maybe this book could give me new information about when people lose their virginity and how they feel before, during and after.The book begins with a history of virginity in the America beginning with the earliest colonies and proceeding through to modern day. The history focuses on attitudes towards virginity and sex, and is quite interesting.The following section deals with the question of what, exactly, virginity is. Can you lose your virginity by oral sex, or is penetration necessary? And when do homosexuals that haven't had heterosexual relations lose their virginity? Can you regain your virginity after you have lost it? And, finally, do rape victims lose their virginity when attacked, or are they still virgins since the act was done under force and duress? The author answers these and other similar questions through research and from comments with individuals that she interviewed.The next three sections deal with the three main types of the way people view the lose of virginity. There are "gifters", "stigmatists", and "processors". Each is a distinct character type with reasons and feelings about virginity loss. The author explores these three areas through interviews and details how each views the loss of virginity. Her interviews take place across socio-economic barriers, with different racial types, as well as with people of different sexual interests.The book finally concludes with a section on abstinence. Since that has been a more prevalent attitude in recent years, it provides yet more insight into the process of virginity loss.This book, while written as a scholarly work, is very readable and contains some fascinating information. It has given me an entirely new prospective of virginity loss, and while reading it I found myself thinking back to my own experiences. I would recommend this book for the parents of any teen, or for anyone interested in the process. It contains information that can help open dialogues and, in my daughter's case, allow teens to see where they fit in and how others have handled similar situations.

An interesting examination of the ways these people thought and felt about how they transitioned into fully sexual relationships. The four metaphors and the admixtures that were used, as well as each persons changing perceptions over time, were all quite instructive and informative to this reader.I find it a worthwhile read especially for anyone who is currently dealing with virginity issues as well as gender and other sexuality issues. It should be helpful in internal as well as external conversations.

Kept reiterating the viewpoints of virginity -- either to get it over with, a rite of passage to adulthood, or a "gift" to give someone special when the time was right. The profiles on individuals talking about their virginity -- well, I was better off finding a more friendly book to read on the topic. It's very clinical and detached, the writing style. Which was ironic, considering the title's "An Intimate Portrait" - obviously tongue in cheek metaphorically. It didn't produce any surprises or in-depthness.

i think I expected this to be some light probably humorous reading but instead I got something that I think was meant as supplemental reading for a Sociology course. I'm glad I'm not taking the class.

I decided to take a Human Sexuality class for a behavioral sciences credit at my college. I had heard a lot of good things about the course, and I knew that I would enjoy it (which I did). A large requirement (20% of the grade) for the course was to select, read, and report on a book about human sexuality, anything from childhood development to abuse to positions. Reviewing the list of approved books, Virginity Lost immediately caught my eye, so I signed myself up for it before it was taken by someone else.As part of her research, Dr. Laura Carpenter interviews (if I recall correctly) 61 people, of which the vast majority are non-virgins. She features many of their stories, writing down parts in the book as focal points of discussions. In her research, she found that all of the people she interviewed saw sex as one of three things: the stigma, the gift, or the rite of passage (in many cases, the rite was often present with the stigma/gift view).The first thing the book dives into is defining what sex and virginity is. Chapter 1 is the brief history on virginity loss - very brief indeed, but provides valuable insight on later chapters. Did you know that early Christians believed women to be naturally pure and only had to keep their abstinence, but it had to be cultivated in men and had to be encouraged to be celibate? Or that the "date" was invented by middle-class White people in the late early 20th century, and men paid for dates because they were the ones who worked and had money? Or that, through the ages, views on sexuality swung from very free to very conservative?Even further, the book touches upon how to define virginity loss in itself. Generally the accepted view is vaginal intercourse, but where do homosexuals fit in? Are their views of sex incorrect, and are they always going to be virgins because they do it differently? If a person has oral sex, but not vaginal sex, can they consider themselves moral virgins (as many people in the past did)?Thing is, no matter how interesting the subject is, it can always be made out to be DREADFULLY boring if the writing style is too technical. Dr. Carpenter doesn't fall into this trap. Although her book could obviously be used for students of sociology or psychology or by her peers in the field, it can also be read and understood by pretty much anyone with at least a 10th-grade reading level (although I've always scored very high on reading tests, so I may be distorting my memory of other 10th graders' reading abilities). Although she doesn't skimp on the detail *due to necessity*, Carpenter's style of writing is relatively simple for a rather complex idea and study. I didn't find myself phasing out and re-reading the same page 6 times, like I have with other frustrating reading requirements. She does not overload the reader with advanced theories and go on long tangents that almost entirely remove themselves from the book's topic.I recommend this book to anyone who likes sociology or psychology, needs to write a paper on a book (like I did) but has no idea what kind of book, or simply would like to know more about sexuality and virginity loss.

Being of a scientific background I'm used to reading science papers etc, this book was a doddle! Therefore my first warning is that it's a book based on research the author has done on virginity loss. It doesn't set out to tell fantastic tales of how people lose their virginity and all the gory details so don't expect that.However, even though it doesn't do that which I thought even I thought it would, what it does do is talk through these experiences and try and reason things from them. The language used isn't highly technical, but nor is it like a novel or narative piece of fiction. I did find it very compelling though and the author does go through 'stories' of virginity loss but intersperesed with thoughts and potential insights. The insights are sharp and thoughtful and I've learnt a lot from this book (not least to say about the definition of virginity!).The book isn't that long, unless you count the extensive notes and references sections, so don't expect a long read. Don't expect a glorification of virginity either, and if your very conservative I would highly recommend the book to broaden your thinking. Even if your quite liberal (which I would say I am), you could still be surprised at what you learn!All in all, a thinking persons book on the subject.