My Secret Garden Paperback – February 5, 2008

Even though this book was written many many years ago I still find that it was very interesting to read! I had no plan on getting deep into the psychology of sexual fantasies because it doesn't really matter to me. What I found interesting was a lot of these stories were some of the fantasies that I've had throughout my life as well. It did teach me that what I fantasized about is actually completely normal.

I believe this book was first written in 1973 and then perhaps revised (added to?) in the late '90's or early '00's. A collection of women sharing their private thoughts presented in a tasteful, but honest way. Interesting to read the different thoughts these women had; some expected, some unexpected; the ways in which the mind works and how sometimes early life experiences can impact a lifetime.

Her book was a refreshing thesis based on an assertable stance from personal experience & observation. I as a male, whom (caveat) 'swings' both ways, was pleasantly surprised at how receptive her thesis evolved/fleshed out & backed by unique if not brave (date context here to when this came out historically) experience via submitted anonymous contributions.Worthy of 'ground breaking' feminist anti-feminist (of the context era), and new feminist sisterhood. Yes, I can say this as anyone male, female, & bi.What threw me was she fairly let down her narrative by taking a couple premises as axioms: they are not. I'll explain.1. First, rightly so, she states male domination has allowed males to banter sexual acts openly, while at the same time women were oppressed proportionally to suppress similar tendencies. I find that more true than not, but not sure it's that weighted and here's why. She discounts male fantasies because male banter such sexual acts openly with male OR females, albeit with males more. You know, backroom talk. Therefore males openly express whatever, any fantasy, easily & openly due to a perceived societal dominance.Tou know, who could possibly challenge such dominance? NOT TRUE. Males repress many fantasies as not being acceptable in a captured venue. It's a societal common restriction attributed by common denominator of the audience.Example: a male may truthfully or not boast of an act with a FEMALE and adjust said report based on the known audience. Even changing that story to fit an adjusting crowd. BUT will NEVER openly express true inner desires, fantasies, or exploratory thoughts to include deep, dark, disturbing 'rabbit-holes'. A males to suddenly and openly detail BDSM, submission/subordination by a male/female, butt play, bi tendancies, zoophillia, etc would risk austrization. She allows that for ANONYMOUS FEMALES but discounts readily such for ANONYMOUS MALE submissions. There she asserts male have no deep secrets because of generational allowances/practices to so called "freedom of expression". I guarantee males can stray easily into expressions beyond the pale given the anonymous allowance as her book did. How do I know? I've been with many males sexually & exploring acts further than I agree to, tells me there are wells that run deep & dark if not just 'ab'-normal. Her PREMISS further into the book takes such from theorem to axiom.: big mistake if you cannot back up such & she doesn't. Not bad, but don't stray there as it'll discount your thesis.2. She rightly asserts, bravely as stated, her resistance to the status quo of feminists sisterhood: bravo! Not a blind follower being told how to act or think because a 'cabal' of, in this case feminists, define the movement. Good lord, if we were all that similar then our fantasies would be generic & zero need to be anonymous. However, she then DEFINES inadvertently to discount her own free thinking thesis by defining what true sisterhood is, not in generic guidlines; but in specific bullet points. She, knows, the true answeres. To me, this speaks of supplanting one feminist organization for her own. Not freedom at all.3. I was, as a male, astounded by the many submissions PRESENTED, of breast/nipple referances: guess I missed that female need! Albeit, I'm a small to medium HEALTHY breast guy whom looks at breasts as just thingies we don'thave. I abhore (my personal problem I guess) extremely large if not pronounced breasts, again personal. The thingies are out of proportion, but the again so are dicks to clirorises. I ESPECIALLY am repelled & my wife, too, to breast enhancement. We have playmates with them but very honestly most women we've seen this way are beautiful & more so if natural even if abnormally large by NATURE. The erzat deformities we found is one of two: lack of self esteem & desire to conform to some misbegotten path OR as we've experience sadly a male's weird desire to pay for them regardless. Honestly, this fatuation with breasts over-enlargement escapes us & presents a bizarre look. See a LOT of such in Scottsdale AZ... it's a requirement like a pool & blond hair. (PS, there is very little non-blond enhanced Barbie presentations....why? Well, perception). but my wife LOVES the breasts of another but still very dislikes experiences with enhanced ones. One exception? Breast reconstruction surgeries to feel more normal. In those cases we make it a CONCERTED effort, sublimely, to pay attention to her breasts as a 'reward'(?) If not to make her feel normalized, again. Again in those cases we are NOT(!) taken aback or repelled but rejoice in the pure sexuality as normal. Perhaps that doest ring true with some & perhaps we are just those types but honestly, it's more than just fine. Just to synopsis the subject, Itme, had NO IDEA how important breasts were to female enlightenment. But on the obverse/defense, we men would love a larger penis & would go there if we could so my apportion is more me. Also, perhaps HER editorial selections fit her PERSONAL desires: I suspect so? Women know so I'm still surprised & confused.Taken what I've submitted, once again from a 'not normal' example of a person ( by the way she is bi too), I submitt my execeptions are to be taken with a grain of salt or not. Not all males are the same. Shoot, given my wife time to adjust her strapon for a male OR female encounter, shows we are a very complex population with VERY mixed baggage of backgrounds.Fantasies are as endless as each human & her book merely opens a door not compiled before, thus, 'groundbreaking' & delightful in thesis attempt, but to me, needing polish.

Like many of the women in the book, I didn't realize all of these fantasies were going on around me. It's reassuring. I find it ridiculous when the men write that they are so accomplished their women have no need for fantasies. I loved the entry by the widower, how endearing.

Got it for the wifey, she scoffed, picked it up, and didnt put it down for the weeekend

I’m a 38 year old heterosexual male who has had more than his fair share of female sexual partners and serious girlfriends and I found this book VERY enlightening. It has changed the way I think about and feel towards women. Before reading this book I had NO IDEA that women had such a rich and varied sexual fantasy experience. It either constantly slipped my thinking faculties, or I reduced them to most likely fantasizing about me or the love making we were engaged in. Now I know better and I actually have gained more respect and awe at such wonderfully diverse and lovely creatures as the human female. This book also helped cure me of my feelings of jealousy and even monogamy! I’ve always been one to wish my partner the best orgasms and the most fulfilling time. How could I even be jealous now thinking that one of the ways to reach that goal is a rich, and varied fantasy life? How could I stress monogamy so much anymore, knowing that healthy sexual fantasies (and therefore a healthy mental and emotional life) may come from a place where multiple people and partners all come together as a team to please? I’m really glad this book was written because, as a man, I now have a better understanding of and sympathy towards what I think are the most beautiful and curious beings on this planet.

Although this is an old book (1970's?) the themes and dreams of people are ultimately timeless and this book proves it. In it I found out things about women that are not meant to be judged or maybe not even understood, just accepted. In fact I'm confident that many of the women who shared these stories/fantasies have no idea why they get turned on by them but nevertheless do. That's the thing about guys- we often don't feel comfortable about things we don't understand. Well, at least for me, after I was about four stories in I had to turn off the need to understand and just accept and then almost like magic a new higher level of understanding was born. I was forced to put my ego down and learn what goes on in the mind of a woman that rarely comes out of her mouth. I'm hoping that with what I now know, I will be able to cultivate more trusting open relationships with women and implore any man who wishes the same to get this book.Please click “helpful” if this review was. Thank you

Opened to a random Page and the first fantasy was about a woman fantasizing about incest. I thought well yuck, let’s just go to a different page here quickly. Only to read…The next one was about a woman fantasizing about having sex with an underage boy. I’m sorry I am all about fantasy, that’s why I bought the book but not disgusting incest and or pedophilia fantasies. This book is disgusting. I could not read anymore. Never returned something so fast.