The Way of Men Paperback – April 10, 2012

The Way of Men is a book which seeks to define what exactly makes a man who is "good at being a man" rather than a "good man" in other ways-such as religious. The author, Jack Donovan, argues that the way of the man is the way of the gang and one needs strength, courage, mastery, and honor as the four cardinal virtues of being good at "being a man." The book is partially a response to the manhood books that started to come out in the 1990s back when there was the "90s male" that was supposed to be attentive to the needs of women or something.In many ways the book is also a sort of spiritual spin off to the movie, Fight Club, where bored, High IQ, suburbanites seek enlightenment by getting out of their safe, consumerist lifestyles by means of fighting. Just as with fight club, there is a cry against the soul destroying emptiness of the modern world in this book too. One can sense the frustration of many young men who look out at the safe, rule ridden modern world and ask is there more? Can one find more through valorous struggle?The book is therefore like a primer on basic manhood for younger men who live in a well ordered society. Its focus is on the basics of warfare in a hunter-gatherer tribe which has an allure when the bills, and other chains of civilization seem to be heavy.To this reviewer however, the book was a bit light on the spiritual substance and it ignored the fact that men must still operate in a civilization. This reviewer was in many regular school-yard fights as well as combat in Iraq and it is difficult to see that a return to a gang and fighting is some sort of path to enlightenment. I feel that my military decorations are just vanity-however hard won. While Donovan makes an excellent case that his study strips down manhood to its bare essentials, it seems that civilization is here to stay and navigating it as a man remains an important skill. Remember, we just had a severe financial downturn and terrible recession from 2007 to 2009 and the world didn't fill up with buckskin wearing Berserkers in world-restarting Mannerbunds. Even in my combat time I experienced only a short second of frenzied savagery and even then the normal bonds of civilization and order returned quite quickly. The four virtues of Freemasonry: Temperance, Prudence, Fortitude, & Justice thereby offer a different, more nuanced look at being good at being a man. While reading this book I was not able to get away from the idea that General Stanley A. McChrystal, very much a man who was good at "being a man" went on to teach a course about "managing failure" after he left the service. Not every challenge is protecting the tribe from wild animals, and not everything is one long successful march to "manliness."In short, if you've done a large stretch of fighting the ideas seem a bit flat, although they are eloquently argued and deliberately simplified for effect. Essentially, this book needs to really be entry one of a multi volume work. Donovan needs to take his ability to simplify complex ideas and show how to continue to be good at being a man when one is not a youth on the far, savage frontier-but older-and navigating the corridors of civilization while carrying out deadly serious business in clean, well lit rooms where reasonable men don't bother to raise their voices.

I give this book five stars, though later in the book I find the authors conclusions flawed and a bit too reactive for my taste.Lets start with the many strengths of this book. It is an examination of masculinity throughout history, and from before recorded history. He says that the four attributes of masculinity that are cross cultural are strength, courage, mastery and honor. He relates all these to hunter gatherer groups and gangs, and examines them in an amoral context - they are neither good or bad, they just are. And to a real degree he is correct, and I agree that we all have the drive to possess and exhibit these traits, to some extent , still within us. I also agree with him that as a society, there are not many outlets for finding and developing these within ourselves.His focus on manliness, what it means, and how these traits were valued for longer than we have been civilized means that some of these truths are uncomfortable. As he says, he is looking at how to be good at being a man not how to be a good man or a good person. I think that recognizing these instinctual drives will help someone recognize political rhetoric and advertising that appeals to them on an emotional level, and also help us as men to begin to explore our connections to the vital, primitive parts of ourselves, and do so in a way that give us control of these drives and allows the power they unleash to enhance how we live.Where he goes off the rails, in my opinion, is, as I said above, his re activity. Referring to secret cabals of managers, feminists and corporations that actively conspire to rob us of our masculinity puts far more direction and . malignancy to social forces than they deserve, and indicates a bit of paranoia. While there may be some small truth to it, I think these forces arise more because of our instincts to acquire and be comfortable than because of some secret masterminds operating in the background in a coherent manner.His emphasis on honor in warrior groups like the Samurai, Christian knights, mobsters and gangs is on point, but he misses something vital. First, the code of the knights and samurai was rarely actually lived up to by them. Secondly, such codes are often used as tools for manipulation in gangs. Many mobsters including Greg Scarpa and Whitey Bulger, , talked the talk, but also were paid informants for the FBI. Many gang leaders use the "no snitching" code to get lower level members to take the fall for them. While he did discuss competition within groups, he never mentioned that aspect of it.However, this book is a MUST read for men. My advice is, when you disagree or agree with him, check your emotions. Find real reasons to discount his later arguments. Don't let cultural conditioning or easy dismissals rob you of the chance to exercise your mind a bit, or throw out the absolutely useful truths in it because he takes them in a different direction. It takes courage and mastery (two of traits he mentions) to develop your own conclusions, and that is what a real man would do anyway. I like to think that the author would agree with me on that.

Some people are terrified by the approach and even the cover of this book, and considering it is a text that touches a sensitive and polemical topic in the contemporary western culture, it is easy to prejudge and brand the book and its author with well known negative labels. However, it is necessary to take the book for what it is: a critical essay on the current stagnation of many men that takes into account several facts related with the biology and the cultural development of our species, and offers those facts as the fundamentals for a more empowering and authentic men lifestyle. The text reflects on that without being an academic work. It is very easy to read and the author uses some dose of humor.There are also some subjective views in the book, but it is acceptable since it is not a treatise of human behavior nor anthropology, and the author does not aim to stigmatize anybody.