The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning Paperback – January 21, 2014

I picked up this book after listening to an interview with the author on Al Kresta's radio show, and it was well worth the $5 investment.The book itself is a collection of blog posts and magazine articles, adapted and edited into a cohesive book form. It goes through many of the common problems couples will face, and suggest ways in which these issues can begin to be worked out with humor, wit, and easy to read language.The main selling point of this book is its brutal honesty regarding the challenge of living out not just the abstinence of NFP, but the entire lifestyle of self donative love of which NFP is only one aspect. It balances out the generally overly optimistic representation of NFP which is presented to couples when they are first introduced to the method with a very honest depiction of the struggles that accompany the use of NFP. She even tackles, though not exhaustively, that flame war starting, never ending debate on what's ok to do during phase 2.It's not all doom and gloom however. The author is quick to remind the reader that all the touted benefits of NFP are very real and very attainable, just not as easily as one may have initially hoped. She shows how NFP, through much struggle and growth, fits into the larger Catholic understanding of marital relationships and reorders their lives towards achieving a fuller, richer union with their spouses... or the entire opposite when couples misuse NFP, as she humorously points out in one entire chapter.Target audience is something important to keep in mind. If NFP is working well for you, you probably will not get much out of this book, though it does contain some helpful high level insights on discernment, relationship issues from a Catholic perspective, and suffering as an act of love. Still a worthwhile read in my opinion.If you are struggling with NFP but doing ok, this book will make you feel like a superstar, a hero of virtue! You may get some helpful encouragement and some good perspective on how to continue the growth in your married relationship.If you despise NFP and wish you'd never heard those awful 3 letters, congratulations, you are the target audience. You will find a sympathetic voice, and validation for all your complaints and struggles. You will also find encouragement in your decision, reassurance that your difficulties are neither uncommon nor insurmountable, and actionable steps to help make the process more bearable and ultimately fulfilling.To finish off, I will mention a few things that, although minor, I found a bit off putting.Portions of the book are written as if addressing an exclusively female audience. In fact one chapter contains some useful advice for women to help their husbands during times of abstinence but nothing for husbands because the author expects the (female) reader to have a list of things to request of her husband already.Throughout the book there's a presumption that the wife is the "keeper of the chart" and sole master of all things charting, while husbands anxiously await the proverbial "green light." My understanding has always been that NFP should be a shared exercise and the husband should ease the burden as much as possible given that some aspects will, by necessity, be borne by the wife. Perhaps the author's depiction is more in line with reality, but even so, it seems like a missed opportunity to encourage husbands to take a more active role in the process.Finally, the book generalizes, likely out of necessity, the emotional workings of men. It presumes a need for 'touch' dependent affection from men which, while true for a majority of men, is not so for all, and the subject receives more nuanced discussion in a book such as Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages."

This is the book I've been waiting for and wanting all my married life. And 12 years into that blessed vocation, I finally got it! "Sinner's Guide" was a book that absolutely had to be written. I was worried it might have to be me... and I'm not mellow enough to tackle something this controversial in book form yet. Three cheers for Simcha! :)Managing somehow to be absolutely inspiring while remaining plainly hilarious, employing the most refreshing honesty coupled with the most charitable fairness, Mrs. Fisher addressed all of the major issues of the "joys" of NFP that, prior to this book, I'd only heard whispered late at mom's nights out with cocktails.I ordered this book on a Saturday, and immediately drove to a "new" playground so my four kids would be distracted as my husband and I read it together. As they wearied of that playground, we drove to another. Three in total.I haven't smiled this much about NFP... ever.It's not even that any of the info was new to us. Both hubby and I have majors in theology (from an orthodox Catholic university to boot). It's simply that now there's a book publicly stating the collective private worries, fears, and misgivings of a couple generations of well-meaning, practicing Catholics. Married folks who want to be holy and "do the right thing," but found that "doing the right thing" sometimes made them feel anything but holy. A pair of disgruntled malcontents perhaps, but not holy.Good Catholic gal that I've always been, I had written papers on the glories of NFP since high school. Upon getting engaged (and not a moment before), I dutifully signed up for the local NFP class. Unbeknownst to me, I was taught a variation of the rhythm method instead. And six months of considerable carefulness into marriage, while studying for the degrees we planned to use to earn a living, I had a positive pregnancy test."Betrayed" doesn't begin to describe how I felt. I had done everything "right," and suddenly I was a mom at 23, when I'd hoped to first work on marriage and saving money (we had nothing) and curing some health issues. While I never regretted our beautiful baby, I very much resented the timing, as our carefullly laid plans of getting a home and jobs were thrown to the wind. We hurridly finished off half our masters' degrees, and a month later had our baby at 32 weeks gestation. I took another NFP course. But I was nursing, and the teacher we had was from the same organization I learned from before. 18 months later, again while carefully charting as best I knew how, we were pregnant again.So we had a crash course in parenthood, and our financial situation has remained challenging to this day... I never did get back to work like I'd planned. But as Simcha illustrates in this book: by being obedient to God's will, we have been blessed in ways I would never have chosen, but would now never want to be without.I finally found a teacher who knew the system, and had six years of "just" two kids before we expanded our family by two more. And just for good measure, I took the course one more time, and love Creighton style best of all.But I still struggled, and at best have only come to a resigned disgust with the system. The well-meaning "encouragement" of other women of how "NFP really brings you together as a couple. Really!" did not help at all. (Particularly when such pep-talks were coming from those beyond child-bearing years, who only remembered having kids as "the best time of their lives.") Very few were willing to admit the simple truth: that NFP can be very difficult to learn, very difficult to practice, and only through God's grace and significant trial and error will a couple begin to see the elusive benefits promised at pre-Cana class.Simcha does a spectacular job of describing how all these NFP benefits (improved communication! increased understanding! deeper appreciation!) can be true, but they don't come automatically, and can be very far from the truth in the learning stages of the game. Especially when most of us are given bright pink glasses beforehand, and only in practice find out the incredible amounts of sacrifice required to practice NFP and maintain sanity.While I still hope further studies in fertility will someday make this system less arduous, thanks to this guide for sinners, I am again inspired to look at NFP more positively, even as the system is today.I absolutely loved the non-judgmental nature of this book, the demonstration of the fact that you just (really!) never know someone else's situation, and so should never attempt to decide for someone else whether they should have more or less kids, that they should be "providentialist" or "NFPers." That such decisions really involve a personal, daily, (and yes, monthly) discernment of God's will.Thank you, Simcha. Thank you for saying out loud that NFP can absolutely stink sometimes. That was utterly refreshing to hear publicly... after years of being silenced and shamed into thinking "I should be so happy with this," it was great to have someone call a luteal phase a luteal phase. On a scale of 2 to 10, I give you a 10S! :) And thank you, even more, for highlighting the heart of the whole matter: the creature's submission to the Creator's plan.I will never forget your depiction of God's conditional will for us, as a Father who says, "Okay, let's see what we can do with the choice you've made" in a way that makes the best of it. I can't wait to see what He does with your work. Keep it up. :)

Great book. I will be recommending it to friends and acquaintances, including perhaps the parish priest!My wife and I read it and enjoyed it greatly.The author is witty and entertaining in her delivery. For anyone who has sincerely tried to practice NFP this book will ring true.Most Catholics practice contraception and certainly in Australia I have never heard NFP so much as mentioned in any Catholic Parishes I have attended over the last 20 years. Simcha Fisher's book is a refreshing and encouraging affirmation for any Catholic couples who are trying to practice NFP and think that perhaps they are the only ones left on earth who are struggling with all that entails.As other reviewers have commented the book is not about technical details it is more about having the correct perspective and motivations for practising NFP and a realistic attitude to the difficulties. Fisher also does a great job of integrating the concept of having a great, uninhibited sex life with practising NFP. Uninhibited except for periodic abstinence that is! And balancing that tension with a smile (or a laugh) and a prayer every now and then is really what this book is about.Despite the disclaimers about not being a glossy promo for NFP the author actually really does clearly demonstrate how a couples marriage and spirituality could be enhanced by having the correct perspective and approach to NFP. She is successful in this because she calls a spade a spade and does not gloss over the challenges and struggles real couples face.A great contribution. Thankyou Simcha.