","image":["https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/810ozg452-L.jpg","https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51wLflQGiEL.jpg"],"offers":{"@type":"Offer","priceCurrency":"UAH","itemCondition":"https://schema.org/NewCondition","availability":"https://schema.org/OutOfStock"},"review":[{"@type":"Review","reviewRating":{"@type":"Rating","ratingValue":"5.0"},"author":{"@type":"Person","name":"R***J"},"datePublished":"1 March 2020","name":"55 gallons of fun","reviewBody":"55 gallons of lube in the drum,55 gallons of fun,Dip yourself in, go for a swim,54 gallons of lube in the drum,..."},{"@type":"Review","reviewRating":{"@type":"Rating","ratingValue":"5.0"},"author":{"@type":"Person","name":"J***H"},"datePublished":"8 March 2018","name":"Perfect","reviewBody":"Makes me moister than an oyster"},{"@type":"Review","reviewRating":{"@type":"Rating","ratingValue":"5.0"},"author":{"@type":"Person","name":"J***Y"},"datePublished":"24 April 2020","name":"The best, and worst decision of my life.","reviewBody":"I have never been the best looking guy on the block, but I don't consider myself ugly either. Yet as I got older, one by one my friends fell in love, settled down, had kids etc.It wasn’t long before I was the only one of my group who wasn't married.But why? I am well mannered, funny (so I'm told), have a decent job, good ambitions - yet every time I started to get close to someone things would fall apart.You see, I have this passion. A passion for lubricant.It started when I was about 19. Me and my mates were down the pub. I wasn't a big drinker, but the novelty of legally being able to order a pint was still there. I was probably on my 3rd pint - brimming with lager bravado.Then, up to the bar walks this absolute stunner. I was transfixed! On seeing me staring in a daze, my mate Fezza chirped in, 'No chance mate, she is well out of your league!'I knew he was right of course, but what did I have to lose? Having another glug of lager, I started my approach, but bottled it on route, and instead diverted to the gents to regroup.Staring at myself in the mirror, I shook my head. What was I thinking? I didn't have that kind of confidence. But at that moment, something in my peripheral caught my attention.It was the standard pub johnny machine – but something was different. A new option was available for a ‘Seduction kit’. Intrigued, I gave it my complete attention: 1 regular condom, 1 studded, and one sachet of juicy lube. Don’t ask me how, but I knew in that moment that my life was about to change forever.£4 poorer, I march brazenly over to the bar, sitting myself next the stunner. Still staring dead ahead, I take the 1st condom out, and casually slide it sideways across the bar towards her. She glances at it, then shoot me a pitiful smirk.Playing hard to get? Ok then, what about now? I slide my studded comrade across to her. Ah, now that got her attention – but still no cigar.Finally, in a scene reminiscent of Lady and the Tramp, I place the lube down on the bar, and using my nose, nudge it towards her. She didn’t say a word. She picked up her coat, took me by the arm, and walk me straight out the pub, past my disbelieving mates, and back to hers.The next few years were spent honing my approach, but it soon became clear to me that the key was the lube. I was obsessed – using it for ventures and projects that were way outside of your standard bedroom activities.Slip forward another couple of years, and I am in a steady relationship – the happiest I have been. The woman I am with is funny, smart, sexy and accepting of my lube addiction, although I can now admit I was keeping quite a lot of the really twisted stuff hidden from her…Anyway, the point it life was good. I even got on well with her parents!Yep, the time felt right. I was ready to settle down, and she was the one. But I wanted everything to be perfect – including the proposal. How can I do something that will surprise her? Stun her even? Something that we will both remember for the rest of our lives.It was one evening when I was browsing online that the plan was hatched. I’m used to ads popping up suggesting new and exciting brands of lube to buy – I welcome them to be fair! But this night the ad that came up for none other than a 55 gallon barrel of Passion Lube. 55 gallons! The barrel looked so big I could probably climb inside it!Wait…I COULD actually climb inside it!!!Oh I could imagine the look on her face when I burst from my giant lube capsule brandishing an engagement ring! Who could say no to that right?!Delivery was quick, and remarkably discreet considering it arrived off the back of a tail lift truck.That night, we were out for dinner with her parents. Yawning, I made my excuses – ‘Babes I’m super tired, mind if I head back? You stay out with your folks, and I’ll see you later, if they don’t mind giving you a lift?’Boom. Part one of operation lubrication done.Back at the house, I prized the lid off, and stripped right down to my birthday suit so as not to get weighed down by lube saturated clothing. I had popped the ring box into a sandwich bag, as well as my phone – just in case I needed to make an emergency call.So as not to make an almighty mess when I got in, I had already taken out about 20 gallons of lube, which I had decanted into my fish tank.Climbing in the barrel felt amazing. I know good lube, and this felt like Monte cristo grade shiz. It was pretty cold when I first got in, but soon warmed up. I wondered if this is what it felt like as a baby in the womb? My thoughts were interrupted by my phone vibrating. I could barely make out the message, but got the gist – she was running late. Fine I thought! I’ll just chill in here a bit longer.After quite a bit of time passed, my phone vibrated again, but this time in the scrabble to view the message it slipped through my hands. Flailing round like a mad man, I frantically tried to locate it, but my hands felt nothing but the silky resistance of the lube.Ok, this is fine – I’ll do the big reveal, and then dig it out after.A few more minutes passed, when I heard a noise – the door! She was home. Wait for it, wait for it…POW! I leapt up from my lubey prison, showing my girlfriend, her mum, and her dad in perfect crystal droplets of moisture, standing proudly, glistening in the lamp light – the illumination of recently fitted energy saving bulbs almost creating a faux atmosphere around my naked body.My girlfriend looked horrified. Her mum even more so. Her dads face said rage – but I could see his eyes saying ‘Teach me.’The realisation of my situation kicked in. ‘Don’t worry, this is actually really good news!’ I stammered, whilst heaving handfuls of lube from the barrel in a futile search for the ring and my phone. Where the hell were they?Then I felt the vibration, shuddering from deep inside my soul. Well, deep inside my lower intestine...I never saw any of them again after that evening, which as I reflect on it, I am grateful for, but even now I sit here wondering how did such a perfect product turn into such a crude proposal instrument?Now I know what you are thinking – why would I be giving the product that literally ruined my life a 5* review? Because of my phone. My phone isn’t small – it’s a Huawei, so full on house brick size. Along with the ring box, you have a wince inducing suppository.But I felt nothing. Not a thing.The quality of this lube made my colonic invasion as traumatic as being woken by a puppy licking your face. For that reason, and that reason alone, I have to give it 5*. It is just incredible lube, and a lot of it. Buy one for you, your friends, and for people you want to be your friends. Whatever happens, I promise you will have a story to tell when it’s finished."}],"aggregateRating":{"@type":"AggregateRating","ratingValue":5,"bestRating":5,"ratingCount":3}},{"@type":"FAQPage","mainEntity":[{"@type":"Question","name":"Can I bathe in this?","acceptedAnswer":{"@type":"Answer","text":"Don't. Even a small bottle of lubricant will eventually find its way to the bottom of your feet. If you bathed in this you would become frictionless and have to slide along the ground to get help.This goes for lubricated wrestling as well. Just don't, it wont end well."}},{"@type":"Question","name":"Any chance of getting this on Amazon Subscription?","acceptedAnswer":{"@type":"Answer","text":"I hear they do parties. Age restrictions apply"}},{"@type":"Question","name":"How long can i use this product. how many days does it last?","acceptedAnswer":{"@type":"Answer","text":"i use to use it almost every day, now maybe 2 or 3 times a week. depending on what ur using, i use maybe 2 or 3 small pumps. it's like half full, and it's been like a year and a half since i bought it. so as far as how long the lube lasts, as long as it remains in the bottle, who knows, lol, but as far as how many times u can use it til it runs out, that depends on u and how many times u use it. there is one thing, sometimes the area where the lube comes out can clog up, which u can just peel off or use a tooth pick, but i've never had to use a tooth pick."}},{"@type":"Question","name":"Does TSA make you provide your own cause I fly a lot?","acceptedAnswer":{"@type":"Answer","text":"Unfortunately the TSA doesn't provide it for you. On the plus side, with a restriction of 3.4 ounces for a carry-on amount you'll have enough for 2074 flights. And a little to spare to share with the stewardesses!"}}]}]}